Dragnet

Dick Wolf brought us Law & Order. Ed O’Neill brought us Married…with Children’s Al Bundy. Now they’re teaming up for Dragnet, but neither is going to achieve their former success with this new TV series. O’Neill plays detective Joe Friday, and Ethan Embry appears as his recently promoted partner Frank Smith. Together they scour Los Angeles in search of criminals and original banter. To go along with the classic “Just the facts ma’am” zingers, Friday mixes in some new material like, “It’s the best view in L.A.—unless you’re dead,” but it doesn’t resonate like the original. This isn’t just a remake of a classic crime drama, it’s a remake of every crime drama on television. Wolf may have started this game, but he needs to quit while he’s ahead.