Gargoyles: Wings of Darkness

Van Helsing may have set the bar low for monster movies, but the low-budget Gargoyles: Wings of Darkness is even more disappointing than watching Hugh Jackman thrust a stake in his Wolverine legacy. Gargoyles begins as an 18th-century monster mash led by a crossbow-wielding Romanian wench and her sidekick priest vanquishing a gargoyle. From there, we quickly move to the present day, when an earthquake resurrects the severely pissed, and even more severely starving, fiend. The ensuing human buffet and CGI-effects blur are embarrassing even by late-night creature-feature standards (we're talking Jay Leno here). What's worse, the movie stuffs its gargoyles full of so many one-dimensional angry priests, Eurotrash vampires, and ill-fated archaeologists, that they didn't save any room for plot, character development, or our interest.