"See ya later, decorator"—Top Design Foppish home goods designer Jonathan Adler thought he could match
Project Runway's Heidi Klum in the cute send-off department. He forgot one imporant thing: Kindergarten-level rhyming can never hope to top a 6-foot German Amazon spitting out a hearty "Auf Wiedersehen!"
"Tell me what you don't like about yourself"—Nip/Tuck The problem with
Nip/Tuck's self-conscious attempt at a catchphrase is that no one ever wants to use this line in normal conversation. Know why? Because people will answer you. We're such a constant in-therapy society, people can't wait to unload their neuroses on you, whether it's over dinner…in the office…on the bus…in a urinal stall…
"It's time to cut the fat"—The Biggest Loser This is one that probably could be used to great effect in everyday life, but being fat is like being an asshole—you're quick to label other people but would never consider that you could fall into that category yourself.
"The balcony is closed"—At the Movies Seeing as most theaters are stadium-seating-clogged space ports, the notion of a couple of old, crusty cineastes sitting up in the balcony is woefully old fashioned. Besides, Siskel and Ebert already had the "thumbs up/down" catchphrase. This is just being greedy. Anyone know if the new version has a catchphrase? Maybe something like, "Hi! Our dads got us our jobs!"
"Pack your knives and go"—Top Chef This is just asking for all kinds of trouble.
"Hell to the No"—Being Bobby Brown We're actually surprised by this one. Just trying using it in normal conversation. "Hey, Joe, did have you registered to vote yet?" "Hell to the no!" 'Ok, man, jeez. Settle down." It's equal parts overly-aggressive and willfully ignorant. It's so perfectly American it's like a red-white-and-blue apple pie shat out by Steve Rogers.
"You're not on the list"—I Want to Be a Hilton People—we call them bouncers—use this line all the time, but we just wanted to make sure Paris Hilton didn't think it was because of her stupid-ass show. See, Paris, you didn't invent this phrase. And as for your other show ideas "Don't You Know Who I Am?", "Ugh, I Almost Ate Something Today", and "Does This Look Infected?", don't go taking unearned credit.
"You're out of style"—The Cut Another lame permutation of the Project Runway idea, but you have to sympathize with The Cut. What kind of options did they have? "Hair today, gone tomorrow"? "Make like an end and split?" We're talking a show about haircuts, people. Forget hoping your catchphrase takes off—how are you even a show?
"Don't call us, we'll call you"—The Starlet This whole show concept was a loser from asshole to elbow (an "acting" competition?), so it's no surprise the catchphrase went nowhere. It was so forced, judge Faye Dunaway could barely choke the words out of that expressionless, Botox-frozen funeral mask she calls a face.
