Life on a Stick

If this is what Fox has been saving for when Ashton Kutcher and Topher Grace wisely stop renewing their That '70s Show contracts, Rupert Murdoch's in trouble—you haven't seen this much shit flung at a television camera since When Animals Attack 12: Monkey Mayhem. Life on a Stick tracks two unambitious recent high school grads who work at a mall hotdog stand. Besides claiming the worst title for a TV show since When Animals Attack 12: Monkey Mayhem, the writers resort to hijacking Beavis and Butthead shtick, like deep-frying everything in sight, for laughs. The problem is, Beavis wouldn't even crack a smile after 30 minutes with these degenerates. What's worse are the hornier-than-our-teens parents who have impromptu sex in the garage, which is exactly the problem with lowest-common-denominator humor. But there is good news: if your job at the food court doesn't work out, you can always take the easy road and write a Fox sitcom.