Every teenage boy’s dream came true in Tucson, Ariz., last Sunday when 30 seconds of hardcore porn spontaneously appeared on TV sets during the Super Bowl broadcast. Despite the awesomeness of this once-in-a-lifetime cosmic event of X-rated greatness, why did it have to happen during the big game? Why couldn't it have happened to...
The new Knight Rider show: Interspersed porn might prove to viewers once and for all that “Yes, in fact, the dialog actually could be worse.”
The Masters: Since, as far as we can tell, the broadcast is sponsored primarily by manufacturers of erectile dysfunction drugs, sponsors might actually benefit from a creative variation on "It's in the hole, it's in the hole!"
American Idol (post tryouts): A few frames of "Big Trouble in Little Vagina" might feel like a welcome break from the histrionic O-faces and orgasmic warblings of frustrated lounge singers and karaoke hacks.
Academy Awards: Here's a bet: Whatever random clip of porn crosses the screen has already been viewed by ten times the number of people who've seen any of this year's Best Picture nominees.
The State of the Union Address: Random schtup scenes would perfectly illustrate the ultimate goal of every administration: to find new ways to ream American taxpayers.
ER: This show has tried every over-hyped scenario in the book for 15 years. It's only fitting that it go out with a bang.
The new Knight Rider show: Interspersed porn might prove to viewers once and for all that “Yes, in fact, the dialog actually could be worse.”
The Masters: Since, as far as we can tell, the broadcast is sponsored primarily by manufacturers of erectile dysfunction drugs, sponsors might actually benefit from a creative variation on "It's in the hole, it's in the hole!"
American Idol (post tryouts): A few frames of "Big Trouble in Little Vagina" might feel like a welcome break from the histrionic O-faces and orgasmic warblings of frustrated lounge singers and karaoke hacks.
Academy Awards: Here's a bet: Whatever random clip of porn crosses the screen has already been viewed by ten times the number of people who've seen any of this year's Best Picture nominees.
The State of the Union Address: Random schtup scenes would perfectly illustrate the ultimate goal of every administration: to find new ways to ream American taxpayers.
ER: This show has tried every over-hyped scenario in the book for 15 years. It's only fitting that it go out with a bang.