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A "Simpsons" Character Will Die This Season - But Who?

And can we all just agree that it should be Agnes Skinner?


Photo: Simpson Crazy


According to Simpsons showrunner Al Jean, a character is going to die at some point during the show's 2013-1014 season - a la Maude Flanders 14 (!) years ago. We don't know who and we don't know when, but it is going to happen. So, just in case the writers are still trying to decide who should eat it, we'd like to offer some suggestions:

 

Agnes Skinner
Principle Skinner's mom is controlling, belittling, and, presumably, weird-smelling. In short, she's one mean old bitch, and Springfield would be better off without her. Just don't be surprised if next year's "Treehouse of Horrors" episode features a murderous Seymour Skinner playing house with Mother's rotted corpse, Norman Bates-style.


Comic Book Guy
Ever been to Comic Con? Then you've probably encountered your fair share of smug, cosplay-loving dickwads like Comic Book Guy. There's really only one way to describe how we would feel about the untimely passing of this fatty, and that is: Best. Episode. Ever.


Hans Moleman
He's decrepit, nearly blind, walks with a cane, and has already been run over, buried alive, and seemingly killed off on several occasions, only to return again. But, fun fact: Hans Moleman is actually just 31-years-old, and claims that "drinking ruined his life." Sound familiar? Well it does to us. Like, too familiar.


Reverend Lovejoy
"Dear looooord, won't you please rid our TV world of this preachy and boring hypocrite?"


Mayor Quimby
Sorry, Mr. Mayor, but in light of today's real-life shutdown of the federal government, our tolerance for corrupt elected officials is at an all-time low. We don't really care how he meets his end, but if there is any fairness in the world, it will involve Fat Tony, a cement block, and a trip to the bottom of Lake Springfield. Plus, we've been looking for an excuse to call Miss Springfield since 1993, and we're not above getting friendly at a funeral.

 

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