The Poseidon Adventure

When an act of terror capsizes and overturns the cruise ship Poseidon, who is there to save the day? If you guessed Steve Guttenberg, you can work at NBC. The aquatic action kicks into high gear when Richard Clarke (Guttenberg) desperately follows the trail of his family and a group of determined survivors who are not willing to wait for the coast guard to save their soggy hides. The trip to the surface is wrought with obstacles made to test their mettle, but in a Fear Factor world, it will take more than scaling a leaning Christmas tree or crossing a wobbly bridge to earn audience anxiety. A cadre of C-list, B-movie actors like Rutger Hauer, Bryan Brown, and the Soul Man himself, C. Thomas Howell, board this hefty three-hour telefilm and subsequently rush through impotent dialogue that is more outdated than Gene Hackman's perfectly cast big-screen original. NBC will have to work harder than this to appeal to viewers on a Sunday still brimming with watchable programming like an extra-special edition of Extreme Home Makeover.