Awesome British (Top Gear) and Japanese (Ninja Warrior) imports invade your good ol' fashioned American television set (unless, of course you own a Panasonic...or a Sony...or a Toshiba...). Back on U.S. soil, a women's football league debuts—in which the players wear lingerie while they tackle one another. God bless America.
Monday, August 22
9:00 p.m. Top Gear (BBC America)
Now entering its 17th season, hosts Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May return to import more of their fast cars and even faster wit. Tonight's season premiere features guest automobile enthusiast/rocker Alice Cooper (we bet he likes the COOP DeVille or the Mini COOPer), as well as segments on the 50th anniversary of the Jaguar E-Type and finding an alternative to the Hummer in South Africa. Here's one: Don't drive a Hummer!
Tuesday, August 23
9:00 p.m. American Ninja Warrior (G4)
We've been hooked on this groin-crushingly (often times, literally) awesome Japanese import all summer. While the name has changed (in its native land it's known as "Sasuke"), the general concept—athletes getting the shit kicked out of them by insane obstacle courses—still, thankfully, remains much the same. Still, it's only fitting that the home-grown competitors on "American Ninja Warriors" head to the place where this fantastic show all started: Japan. The U.S. warriors will head to Mt. Midoriyama to face the toughest course yet for the season three finale. To put it in plain English, hold on to your nads, because it's about to get really crazy.
Wednesday, August 24
8:00 p.m. Buried Treasure (Fox)
Who doesn't like to find valuable booty? Identical twins Leigh and Leslie Keno certainly do (Don't get too excited, it's these dudes) On "Buried Treasure" the the Antiques Roadshow vets evaluate and price things people have found around their home and then assist them in selling the artifacts. We're no experts, but we're pretty sure the collection of old beer bottles and old copies of Maxim you have lying around a worth a small fortune. You're welcome!
9:30 p.m. Happy Endings (ABC)
Speaking of discovering hidden gems, tonight ABC will finally show a previously un-aired episode of the hilarious, underrated freshman sitcom Happy Endings. Dave (Zachary Knighton) snags a date with a hot women's lacrosse (http://www.maxim.com/amg/sports/nfl/79359/cooley-observations-girls-lacr...) coach (score!), Penny (Casey Wilson) gets an assistant, and Jane (Eliza Coupe) and Alex (Elisha Cuthbert) fight over a literacy group. Now, now, ladies, there's no need to argue! We all know that literacy is overrated anyway. Amiright, people capable of reading this post?
Thursday, August 25
8:00 p.m. World's Toughest Fixes (NGC)
It's one thing trying to fidget with the antenna on your car or your house (that porn wasn't going to un-scramble itself!) but imagine having to go into space to repair NASA's Deep Space Antenna. During the latest installment of the National Geographic series, the gang behind "World's Toughest Fixes," led by host Sean Riley, try and find ways to MacGuyver the trickiest tune-up in the galaxy. C'mon guys, have you even tried duct tape?
Friday, August 26
10:00 p.m. LFL Presents: Friday Night Football (MTV2)
Now this is what we call a fantasy league: Sexy, fit ladies in lingerie playing a rough and tumble game of football. In the first game of the 2011 Lingerie Football League season, the strong dames of the Minnesota Valkyrie face off against the hardcore women that comprise the Green Bay Chill. While we're beyond psyched the NFL lockout didn't happen, we would have been able to get by just fine watching these ballsy, no-nonsense beauties fill the void. We can't wait until the day when this becomes an inspirational sports movie, though we're pretty sure we'll be moved to a slow clap a few times during tonight's game.
Sunday, August 28
9:00 p.m. MTV Video Music Awards (MTV)
To recap: The 2009 ceremony had Kanye West hijacking Taylor Swift's acceptance speech and 2010 had a no-holds-barred Chelsea Handler hosting. So you better bring your A game again. Still, with a tribute to Britney Spears, a scheduled Lady Gaga performance, Kim Kardashian presenting a Moonman, and nominees such as Katy Perry, it's safe to say the 27th Annual VMA's will once again find that delicate awards show balance of awkward and memorable.