There's a lot of TV options to choose from these days. Too much for any one person to completely monitor, but that doesn't mean we're not going to do our best to sift through all the listings and figure out what you should be watching every week...with all the highlights, lowlights and guilty pleasures you can stand.
Monday
8:00 p.m. Chasing Classic Cars (Discovery)
Much like American Pickers, Chasing Classic Cars follows a guy as he travels around the country trying to unearth long-forgotten or neglected treasures. This time, it's Wayne Carini, a restorer and Ferrari expert hunting down—as the title clearly states—classic cars. Cool cars and the possibility of getting shot at for trespassing? Sounds like a winning combination to us.
Tuesday
8:00 p.m. 10 Ways To Kill Bin Laden (History)
History Channel's not messing around anymore, you guys. Now they're straight-up telling the world how to kill Os-Lad. They've lined up experts and everything to talk about methods the government has already tried. We're not sure if they'll be revealing any of the current plans—that would seem overly foolish—but if these are all not-so-secretive attempts to get him, shouldn't the show be renamed 10 Ways To NOT Kill Bin Laden?
Also on Tuesday
11:00 p.m. Louie (FX)
We're big fans of Louis C.K.'s stand-up and hope that his on-stage funniness will translate well on the small screen with Louie, a semi-autobiographical sitcom about a divorced stand-up with two daughters in NYC. The pilot for the half-hour sitcom starts at 11 with the second episode immediately following. Maybe this will be a return to great comedians getting their own shows like the late '80s/early '90s heyday! (What, you think we'd count Titus?!)
Wednesday
9:00 p.m. Johnny Cash in San Quentin (CMT)
One of the Man in Black's legendary prison performances, the At San Quentin album was accompanied by the film Johnny Cash in San Quentin, which not only features Carl Perkins and June Carter, but also candid interviews with some of the inmates Cash played for. Having been filmed in 1969, this footage isn't exactly new, but it's a must for Cash fans.
Also on Wednesday
10:00 p.m. The Real World: New Orleans (MTV)
You'd think we'd have had enough of pretty 20-somethings getting drunk and carousing with one another, but, so far, the formula continues to work wonders. This season, the show's 24th, the kids are sent to New Orleans—which makes it the second city to be used twice by MTV, NYC being the other. From the promo clips we've seen, this will prove to be a particularly volatile season involving infighting, fisticuffs and even drug abuse. It's about time Real World got edgy and relevant again. Or stayed trashy, at least.
Monday
10:00 p.m. The Real Housewives of New Jersey (Bravo)
It's been a pretty ridiculous season of the Jersey Housewives. One of the cast members left the show due to another's complete craziness. In fact, the whole season seems to have revolved around Danielle Staub being a delusional lunatic who thinks the other women are out to physically harm her. She's even gone so far as to solicit the help of some goombah felons to watch her back. Well, it all comes to head on this week's episode when she ends up at the same event with some of the other women who give her a piece of their mind. We hope it's cathartic. And that our women stop watching this junk!
Tuesday
8:30 p.m. Extreme Close-Up (E!)
Gah! Seriously, E? No one thought to rename Extreme Close-Up? There wasn't anyone in the office who said, “Hey, I get that you're trying to say the show will provide in-depth looks at the careers of people like Taylor Lautner (uh...score?) and that it is a legitimate movie-making term, but it's also used in the parlance of porn. Maybe we should change it?” In the end it won't matter, because they're focusing on the Twilight actors and every stalker-leaning teenager and under-sexed mom will be tuning in, anyway.
Monday
8:00 p.m. Chasing Classic Cars (Discovery)
Much like American Pickers, Chasing Classic Cars follows a guy as he travels around the country trying to unearth long-forgotten or neglected treasures. This time, it's Wayne Carini, a restorer and Ferrari expert hunting down—as the title clearly states—classic cars. Cool cars and the possibility of getting shot at for trespassing? Sounds like a winning combination to us.
Tuesday
8:00 p.m. 10 Ways To Kill Bin Laden (History)
History Channel's not messing around anymore, you guys. Now they're straight-up telling the world how to kill Os-Lad. They've lined up experts and everything to talk about methods the government has already tried. We're not sure if they'll be revealing any of the current plans—that would seem overly foolish—but if these are all not-so-secretive attempts to get him, shouldn't the show be renamed 10 Ways To NOT Kill Bin Laden?
Also on Tuesday
11:00 p.m. Louie (FX)
We're big fans of Louis C.K.'s stand-up and hope that his on-stage funniness will translate well on the small screen with Louie, a semi-autobiographical sitcom about a divorced stand-up with two daughters in NYC. The pilot for the half-hour sitcom starts at 11 with the second episode immediately following. Maybe this will be a return to great comedians getting their own shows like the late '80s/early '90s heyday! (What, you think we'd count Titus?!)
Wednesday
9:00 p.m. Johnny Cash in San Quentin (CMT)
One of the Man in Black's legendary prison performances, the At San Quentin album was accompanied by the film Johnny Cash in San Quentin, which not only features Carl Perkins and June Carter, but also candid interviews with some of the inmates Cash played for. Having been filmed in 1969, this footage isn't exactly new, but it's a must for Cash fans.
Also on Wednesday
10:00 p.m. The Real World: New Orleans (MTV)
You'd think we'd have had enough of pretty 20-somethings getting drunk and carousing with one another, but, so far, the formula continues to work wonders. This season, the show's 24th, the kids are sent to New Orleans—which makes it the second city to be used twice by MTV, NYC being the other. From the promo clips we've seen, this will prove to be a particularly volatile season involving infighting, fisticuffs and even drug abuse. It's about time Real World got edgy and relevant again. Or stayed trashy, at least.
THE SILVER LINING
Monday
10:00 p.m. The Real Housewives of New Jersey (Bravo)
It's been a pretty ridiculous season of the Jersey Housewives. One of the cast members left the show due to another's complete craziness. In fact, the whole season seems to have revolved around Danielle Staub being a delusional lunatic who thinks the other women are out to physically harm her. She's even gone so far as to solicit the help of some goombah felons to watch her back. Well, it all comes to head on this week's episode when she ends up at the same event with some of the other women who give her a piece of their mind. We hope it's cathartic. And that our women stop watching this junk!
NOT A GOOD TITLE
Tuesday
8:30 p.m. Extreme Close-Up (E!)
Gah! Seriously, E? No one thought to rename Extreme Close-Up? There wasn't anyone in the office who said, “Hey, I get that you're trying to say the show will provide in-depth looks at the careers of people like Taylor Lautner (uh...score?) and that it is a legitimate movie-making term, but it's also used in the parlance of porn. Maybe we should change it?” In the end it won't matter, because they're focusing on the Twilight actors and every stalker-leaning teenager and under-sexed mom will be tuning in, anyway.