Sex is one of those things where if it’s bad, it’s still good. But regardless of that fact, we should all make it a life goal to be better lovers, because life is too short for mediocre sex. It should be amazing, all the time.
In a Reddit thread titled “Women of /r/sex, what makes a guy a good lay?” women from the four corners of the internet kindly shared their thoughts and beliefs on this pressing matter, and I read through each and every comment and handpicked the best 15 pieces of advice, so that you, too, can apply them to your own life and give every woman you ever sleep with the mind-blowing sex she deserves.
1. "He has to legitimately enjoy foreplay. If he knows how to eat pussy (and enjoys it), is a good kisser and is confident, he will be a good lay. Also please make some noise -- there is nothing more boring/frustrating than sex with a guy who doesn't moan or groan or anything. Let me know you're enjoying it, damn it!"
2. "One of the sexiest things ever is to be teased. Draw out the foreplay and tease her, with your tongue and your fingers, and later on with the head of your penis, long before you actually penetrate her. If you stimulate her enough beforehand, she'll be aching for you by the time you enter her.
"That's the best feeling ever, when my guy winds me up so tight with just his fingers or his tongue and then slowly sinks himself into me. Sometimes I almost come right away just from finally feeling him inside me, because he's built it up that much beforehand. Take your time."
3. "If I show or tell you what to do and what not to do, don't forget it 4 seconds later."
4. "Plenty of experience and the ability to read a woman's body language and listen to what she says (nothing worse than a guy who thinks he knows more about what I want or need than I do). Confidence is good--but only if it is earned through experience, otherwise, it is arrogance, and the arrogant dude is crap in bed. Amazing cunnilingus skills. The willingness to let me be in charge about half the time. Creativity and a strong desire not to fall into dull routine."
5. "I love it when he makes me feel like I'm the only one who is on his mind right now (no matter what he really thinks about me)."
6. "He makes noise, likes kissing, forceful (to an extent; some chicks like the rough stuff), gets me ice cream after."
Yes. Don't forget the ice cream.
7. "Enthusiasm and having fun! Sex is supposed to be a good time."
8. "I want him to take time with every part of the process. I love having it drawn out and focusing on the feeling of just one aspect of foreplay for a while before moving on to something else. Drawing out foreplay makes me feel amazing...like the guy is truly enjoying my body and enjoying being with me rather than just trying to get off."
9. "Dirty talk."
10. "A willingness to go slow. A dude that wants 17 positions, both way oral, ass play, AND tying up at the first sexual encounter is not for me. I need to go a bit slower than all that."
11. "Communication, playfulness, patience.
"I won't lie, a big one doesn't hurt either. Well it does, but it hurts so good. (Given the choice between a big dick and a guy that can eat pussy like a champ, I'll go with the latter every single time though, so have faith y'all)."
12. "I love sensualists who take their time exploring every inch of me, and who let me do the same in return. It makes for great sex when you can find "spots" that each of you never even knew you had."
13. "I love when I can see pleasure on the guy's face."
14. "Sex is a pretty silly activity and somebody will inevitably stumble, fart or look stupid in some other way. It's nice to have a partner who can laugh with you about things like that instead of being weird and anxious about it."
15. "You HAVE to be a good kisser. I can't even stress how important this is. Bad kissing is easiest the biggest turn off for me."