Mind of Mencia
Thanks to Carlos Mencia's inimitable brand of racially and ethnically charged sketch comedy, we no longer see color anymore. Because we stabbed our eyeballs into mint jelly four minutes into the series opener.
Growing Up Gotti
If Italian-Americans were offended by The Sopranos, they must have been rolling in their pizza boxes over this reality show, which evidently examined how homosexuals have taken over the Mob.
Our nation's terror policy was once compelling and suspenseful, too. But when it started focusing more on John Ashcroft's love relationship with Condoleezza Rice instead of the plot by his brother, Ayman al-Zawahiri (who didn't see that coming?), to nuclear-bomb Del Amo mall, we lost interest in the war on terror, too.
Find the one-date format of shows like Elimidate and Change of Heart too high-minded? Then you'll love watching the same person go on five dates. Not stupid enough? MTV shrewdly anticipated this, throwing all the potential suitors in a bus and driving them around aimlessly until somebody gets chlamydia.
Deal or No Deal
If you've ever quietly seethed while your girlfriend waffled for hours between two dozen wallpaper patterns at Home Depot, you've beheld the skill required to win up to 20 years' salary on DND. Wanna liven up this TV version of millionaire whack-a-mole for Wheel of Fortune rejects? Put a hungry wolverine in one of the briefcases.
Walker, Texas Ranger
The stories were simpler than a Deal or No Deal contestant. Zero plot intricacy, even less character development—just Chuck Norris karate-kicking dudes toting uzi's. And it kicked ass.
Saved by the Bell
Just think what you could have made of your life had you not spent every Saturday morning of your adolescence watching this mindless high school "comedy" about a demographically engineered group of popular white kids and their vaguely ethnic friends. Screech alone set human development back 10 generations closer to primordial slop.
ABC tried to pass off a sitcom featuring people dressed as a family of dinosaurs—complete with a baby who would brain his father with a frying pan while screaming "not the mama!"—as a satire of modern American society. If you've made it this far, you clearly didn't register the part about "people dressed as dinosaurs."
We don't know anyone with two brain cells to rub together who made it through an entire episode of this show. Yet this character on Friends who could barely wipe his own shoes, NBC thought could carry his own show. This couldn't have gone worse if his last name was Buttafuoco.
The War at Home
Michael Rappaport got his own family sitcom. Michael Rappaport is the real-life Joey.