From the ages of 3-12 or so, Halloween is an opportunity to dress up and eat candy until you get sick. From the ages of 18-???, Halloween is an opportunity to drink...until you get sick...and have sex with a stranger while in costume. Hopefully not in that order! Another perk of Adult Halloween is that October 31st happens to be a night that many women choose to bare much, much more skin. (Don't you dare call it Slutoween.)
Sometimes, though, these sexy Halloween costumes miss the mark. Take, for example, the Pizza Rat costume that just launched on Yandy today. Yes, that’s the world we live in now: We’ve even managed to sexualize hungry vermin for profit. But it doesn’t stop there. Here are the most ridiculous “sexy” Halloween costumes currently for sale on Yandy. If you want to jerk off to these, go ahead. This is a safe space.
Sexy Pizza Rat
You can totally rip off the pizza slices and become Sexy Ratatouille next year. Upcyling at its best.
Sexy “What Is the Color?” Dress
This goes out to everyone who spends their days masturbating to BuzzFeed’s most viral posts.
Sexy Donna T. Rumpshaker
Yes, that’s a sexy Donald Trump costume. Moving along now.
Looks like somebody wasn’t legally allowed to say “Minion.” Still doesn't make us want to have sex with a Minion any less. We mean more. Any more.
Sexy Striped Clown
If you've ever fantasized about fucking Ronald McDonald, boy howdy are you in luck.
Sexy French Fries
And you can have fries with that.
This is the best argument against GMOs I've ever seen.
Sexy Cozy Goldfish
And now we enter a strange trio of sultry marine life, because why not fetishize fish?
If you sleep with someone wearing this costume, you have to pee on yourself afterwards. I'm sorry, I don't make the rules.
I'm striving to make a handjob joke, but all I can land on is...why?