The new NFL week is here and with it comes chaos. Fortunately, Maxim is here to help you navigate these uncharted waters with five predictions that will undoubtedly (or just maybe) come true.
Photo: Jessica Rinaldi/ Landov | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013
Big Upset – New York Jets over New England
Clearly the outcome of this game is going to rest heavily on whether or not Rob Gronkowski suits up. And at this point…who the hell knows (as of this writing, he hasn’t been cleared to play). Despite their 5-1 record, and last week’s stirring comeback against the Saints, the Pats have looked distinctly mediocre this year. The Jets defense, meanwhile, is leading the league in sacks and tackles for loss, the team is playing at home, and the players may be extremely horny.
Big Performance – Jermichael Finley
Despite starting at tight end on one of the most dynamic offenses in the NFL for the last few years, Finley has never quite lived up to his potential (cue millions of fantasy owners sadly nodding their heads). But with star receiver Randall Cobb out for up to eight weeks with a fractured tibia, look for Aaron Rodgers to target Finley early and often. . . even if the Pack is going against a stingy Browns defense.
Big Flop – Whoever Starts at QB for Houston
To the Texans fans who cheered Matt Schaub’s injury last week: be careful what you wish for. Sure, Schaub’s been terrible, but you’re not likely going to get much more out of back-ups T.J. Yates or likely starter Case Keenum, against a Kansas City defense that’s been terrorizing the rest of the league all season.
Big Storyline – The Team Formerly Known as the Redskins?
Now that the government shutdown is over, the biggest controversy coming out of the Beltway is the debate over the Redskins name, and isn’t going away anytime soon. A recent poll found that 59% of fans find the name offensive to Native Americans, which makes us wonder who the hell the other 41% are. We’re all for tradition, and Washington has a good one, but if the city felt compelled to change its basketball team’s name from the Bullets to the Wizards, should this decision really be that hard to swallow? It’s not that the team would have to change their colors or logo, just the name. Now, admittedly, not all the alternative suggestions are great. The Skins? Eh. The Hoggs? A nice nod to the team’s fanbase, but that would mean a whole new logo, and we actually dig the current one. The Braves? That’s better, and the team was originally called the Boston Braves. But, for what it’s worth, we’re for the Warriors, a name that honors the team’s Native American tradition, sounds good after “Washington,” and wouldn’t necessitate a complete rebranding. Of course, with Dan Snyder in the owners box, it doesn’t seem likely. At least not yet.
Big Stinker – Tampa Bay at Atlanta
Poor Atlanta. First the Braves get knocked out of the playoffs, then a once-promising Falcons team heads straight into the shitter with Julio Jones’ season-ending injury. Still, at least they aren’t the Buccaneers. The question is, with Josh Freeman out of the picture, will Tampa Bay’s “Schiano Men”be able to salvage their disaster of a season? Don’t count on it. To be fair, new QB Mike Glennon played fine last week, but can you really go to war with a guy who looks like Napoleon Dynamite?
Check out Fantasy Football: Five Takeaways From Week 6 and Jack Morris and the World Series Trophy Come to Maxim.