Thursday is Thanksgiving, which means you'll finally be able to spend some quality time with the wolves that raised you. Oh wait, that sounds terrible. Watch these movies instead.
Scent of a Woman (1992)
After the world's most awkward Thanksgiving dinner, Lt. Col. Frank Slade (Al Pacino) describes his estranged family to his young caretaker/protege (Chris O'Donnell) thus: "Can't believe they're my blood. I.Q. of sloths and the manners of banshees. He's a mechanic, she's a homemaker. He knows as much about cars as a beauty queen, and she bakes cookies, taste like wing nuts. As for the tots, they're twits."
As any privileged 15-year-old Manhattan boy can attest to, no Thanksgiving holiday would be complete without an aggressive rub-and-tug from your hot step-mom's (Sigourney Weaver) hot best friend (Bebe Neuwirth). And if you can also squeeze in a makeout sesh with the step-mom herself before heading back to your elite New England boarding school, so much the better.
American Gangster (2007)
Drug kingpin Frank Lucas (Denzel Washington) sends a not-so-subtle holiday message to the corrupt cop (Josh Brolin) who's been hassling him: Here's a delicious Thanksgiving turkey. And a car bomb.
Planes, Trains & Autombiles (1987)
Have you ever wondered what it would sound like if '80s-era Steve Martin unleashed an expletive-laden tirade against that lady who played Principal Rooney's secretary in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, after a series of travel-related mishaps threaten to interfere with his Thanksgiving plans? Well, this is what that would sound like.
Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)
As if it wasn't bad enough that we have to go home for a holiday that doesn't even involve the exchange of gifts, many of us must also suffer further indignities courtesy of the ol' Thanksgiving Eve high school reunion. That's where broke besties Zack (Seth Rogen) and Miri (Elizabeth Banks) run into Bobby Long (a former classmate who Miri has big plans to seduce) and his lover, Brandon St. Randy: a gay porn star, played a little too convincingly by Justin Long. Hilarity ensues—which must be a nice change of pace for Justin Long.