No one wants to know what Santa and Mrs. Claus do between the sheets.
The continual encouragement of Christmas cheer (and threats from those goddamn Salvation Army Santas) wouldn't be complete without media intervention. Whether they're trying to sell you the best wool sweater ever created or offer a legitimate reason for you to spend your dwindling cash on a neon-colored snow-blower, holiday commercials have the ability to influence our lives - or at least the way we spend our paychecks. After enduring endless amounts of late-night TV, we've identified the four worst commercials of this holiday season. Run far, far away from both department stores and your television set.
Samsung Galaxy S III
You can thank Samsung for destroying the last remaining ounce of childhood you had left in you, because after this weirdly raunchy commercial, you'll never look at old St. Nick the same way again. Good luck explaining this one to your nieces and nephews. Happy holidays, kids!
What looks to be the beginning of an amateur porn video turns into the most bizarre Christmas commercial we've ever seen: scantily clad Santas trying to amp up a funeral home by "sexily" lounging in coffins. We don't know exactly how they do funerals south of the border, but sex
selling in this one. And this is coming from the open-minded people at
; good luck with the rest of your audience.
WBK Bank Commercial
We have absolutely no idea what the hell that bank guy is saying, but we're assuming it's something along the lines of "Chuck, why the hell are you trying to ride that deer?" Weird, emotionally uncomfortable, and completely humiliating—for both the deer and the bank.
A giant Santa marionette is communally crafted, then led around an eerily darkened town while forcefully winking at the poor civilians below him? Sounds like the plot of a slasher flick more than a Coke commercial. That girl on his shoulder is definitely going to bethe first to go.
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