Photographed by Jeffrey Westbrook | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013
DO Buy a tap kit that includes a shank and a faucet ($30, keg works.com).
DON’T Buy adult diapers and a hammer. That’s for a different set of instructions.
Photographed for Maxim by Matthew Salacuse | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013
DO Slice off the rounded bottom (for stability), cut off the top, and scoop out the meat; set aside.
DON’T Wear the melon as a helmet. It won’t protect you.
DO Cut a hole slightly smaller than the shank. Then insert the shank and attach the faucet.
DON’T Even think about making a sex joke while you do it.
DO Blend melon meat with vodka (to taste) and fresh lime juice. Pour into melon and add ice.
DON’T Drink it keg-stand style. This is a classy party!
Check out our video of step-by-step instructions to do this!