Dog Movie Review Special: “Django Unchained”

Our panel of canine movie experts has a good sniff at Tarantino’s bloody Western.

Our panel of canine movie experts has a good sniff at Tarantino’s bloody Western.

Django Unchained


Out December 25, Rated R

Photos Courtesy of The Weinstein Company


Holly’s take:


“Holy cock-balls of the apocalypse, this was a great movie. In a nutshell, it follows Django (Jamie Foxx), a slave who gets bought by a bounty hunter (Christoph Waltz), as he hones his skills as a gunman and then goes on a mission to rescue his wife from a dickhole slave trader (Leonardo DiCaprio). Being Tarantino, though, the plot takes a long, winding road on the way to its (literally) explosive conclusion, the route littered with laugh-out-loud moments, brutal intensity and savage, simple cool. The script is tighter than anything Tarantino’s written in a while, and if “You silver-tongued devil, you” doesn’t become the most quoted line of the year, I’ll eat my hat faster than I ate my last batch of puppies (what? Dogs do that sometimes, get over it).”

Photos Courtesy of The Weinstein Company


Dexter’s take:


“Let’s go with the pros first: This movie is squirrel-chasingly, ball-lickingly good fun. The story is solid as a rock and, despite the length (over two and a half hours!) the thing runs on rails, with nary a dull moment. The acting is all top notch: In particular, Christoph Waltz – to me, the only watchable thing in the whole of the misguided Inglourious Basterds – delivers his lines with the jovial certainty of a man who just knows he’s crushing it, while Leonardo DiCaprio and Don Johnson look to be having all the fun in the world with their dastardly supporting roles. Sam Jackson is brilliantly twisted as the obsequious house slave, and while Jamie Foxx looks a little unsure of his motivation early on, when the time comes for him to be cool and kick ass, the guy’s a natural. All in all, Django is easily Tarantino’s best film since Pulp Fiction, a heady mix of bloody ultra-violence, memorable characters and accomplished visuals. Short version? I loved it.


“And now, the cons. Well, just the one, really. Quentin, buddy, we really, really need to have (another) little talk about your apparent obsession with the n-word. I get it, you finally found a contextually-appropriate setting for it, but for the love of God, man, it must have been used 200 times in this film, and by the end I couldn’t see a purpose for it beyond you gleefully trying to get away with saying a naughty word. Overall, Django is an awesome, thrilling ride of a movie, but for me, this was like hearing someone scream the word “vet” or “bath” at me over and over again while I was trying to enjoy myself, and that’s never nice, is it?”

Photos Courtesy of The Weinstein Company


Billie’s take:


“MY FAVORITE PART WAS ANY TIME A HORSE GOT SHOT. IT HAPPENED A LOT! I HATE HORSES, THEY’RE LIKE SHIT DINOSAURS THAT WILL TRAMPLE YOU TO DEATH BECAUSE THEY GOT SCARED OF A TREE.”

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8CZKbDzP1E



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