You won't believe the language on these ladies
When a scene calls for a good cluster f-bomb, the casting department usually calls Joe Pesci or Sam Jackson. And while Pesci and Jackson may rattle off expletives like no one’s business, they're not exactly fantasy-worthy. (Unless you have some seriously weird kinks.) Luckily for us, these crass women definitely are. Join us in saluting nine potty-mouthed hotties of the silver and small screen.
Debra Morgan, Dexter
Played By: Jennifer Carpenter
While Miami Metro’s resident serial killer can sometimes disappoint us with a lame kill or overly long “dark passenger” monologue, his sister Deb never fails in the hilarious expletive department. Whether she’s telling her coworkers to shit a brick and f**k her with it, or describing a baby as “motherf**king roly-poly, chubby-cheeked shit machine,” Deb consistently wows us with her crude creativity.
Kara "Stabuck" Thrace, Battlestar Galactica
Played By: Katee Sackhoff
Starbuck may opt for the FCC-sanctioned “frack” over a true f-bomb, but boy does she get some mileage out of that word. Particularly after she’s knocked back a few beers from her top gun stein. That’s also when she’s most inclined to kick your ass, so it’s best to shut your mouth and frack off.
Carrie Mathison, Homeland
Played By: Claire Danes
When the security of the United States is essentially in your hands, a few swears are expected. But add in a serious psychological disorder and post-9/11 guilt, and you’re bound to make Tony Soprano blush. If we can learn anything from Homeland, it’s that when you put Claire Danes on Showtime, expect an enormous, awesomely vulgar departure from her Little Women days.
Mirtha Jung, Blow
Played By: Penelope Cruz
In this noted Goodfellas rip-off, Penelope Cruz fills the role of “drug lord’s crazy hot wife.” On top of being crazy hot, however, she’s also straight-up crazy. For evidence, look no further than the charming little speech she screams at her husband as the cops take her away. Drink every time she says a variation of the f-bomb, and you’re bound to get as messed up as her husband’s junkie clients.
The Bride, Kill Bill
Played By: Uma Thurman
Tarantino ladies aren’t especially known for their delicate speech, but when you’re on an epic, two-part quest for revenge, your swearing gets magnified. Let’s be honest: if someone had killed off your friends and fiancee, taken your baby and left you for dead, you would be sorta pissy about it, too.
Pam De Beaufort, True Blood
Played By: Kristin Bauer
You set a pretty high bar for yourself when you casually drop lines like, “Can we blow up these Wiccan dipshits already? I’ve got a mani-pedi at 4,” but Pam is up to the challenge. She’s also a vampire, which by law requires her to be insanely good-looking. (One legal loophole? Nosferatu.)
Debbie, Knocked Up
Played By: Leslie Mann
Knocked Up may be best known as the only tolerable Katherine Heigl movie ever made, but it’s Heigl’s onscreen sister Leslie Mann who really steals the show. Her f-bomb-laden takedown of the club doorman alone is a thing of wonder.
Lucy Danzinger, Boardwalk Empire
Played By: Paz de la Huerta
A loud, uncouth floozy on the Jersey boardwalk? Get outta town! Nucky Thompson’s one-time mistress is vulgar in pretty much every sense of the word: she drinks a lot, she frequently walks around in the nude, and she talks more like her sugar daddy’s mobster pals than their meek housewives.
Played By: Natalie Portman
Closer required its stars to spout so many off-color lines that Julia Roberts and Natalie Portman gave each other necklaces bearing a certain word that, well, rhymes with punt. But while Roberts mostly listens to Clive Owen cuss her out, Portman takes a more active approach, cursing her cheating boyfriend and calling snobby art enthusiasts “glittering assholes.” Oh and did we mention she plays a stripper? (Why the hell else would we have sat through this wordy, over-dramatic crapfest?)
Miri, Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Played By: Elizabeth Banks
Her lines don’t even hold a candle to Zack’s rants about Fleshlights and the finer points of pornography, but Miri gets in her fair share of swears. And really, when you’re filming a movie called Swallow My Cockuccino, squeaky-clean speech is more difficult to maintain than a Bob Ross Chia pet.