There's a lot of TV options to choose from. Too much for any one person to completely monitor, but that doesn't mean we're not going to do our best to sift through all the listings and figure out what you should be watching every week...with all the highlights, lowlights, and guilty pleasures you can stand.
All Freakin' Week
NBA Playoffs(TNT, ESPN) Check local listings
As if you even needed this reminder: The Oklahoma City Thunder will face off against the Dallas Mavericks while the Chicago Bulls will try take down the Miami Heat and their dream trio of Dwyane Wade, Chris Bosh, and LeBron James. Then again, if you did need this reminder, please hand in your dude card immediately. It has been rendered ineffective and we sincerely hope you enjoy watching the series finale of The Oprah Winfrey Show.
Monday, May 23
8:00 p.m. House M.D.(Fox)
It's bad enough that we had to go sans Thirteen (temperature-riser Olivia Wilde) for a little while there (Cowboys and Aliens, you better be worth it!), but now we have to deal with Cuddy cutting out as Lisa Edelstein recently announced she won't be returning to the drama series next year. So, that means the seventh season finale will mark the last time you can make an appointment with the good doc. At least, that's what you can use as your thinly veiled excuse as to why you're watching this episode without pants.
Tuesday, May 24
9:00 p.m. Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern(Travel)
If you'd sooner gouge your own eyes out than get a glimpse of NYC via the Glee kids during their Big Apple-based season finale over on Fox tonight, you can can experience the Manhattan through the iron-clad stomach of Andrew Zimmern instead. Better yet, you get to enjoy it all indigestion-free while good ole' Zimmy plays diarrhea roulette with New Yorkers when he works, among other places, as a street vendor.
Thursday, May 26
10:30 p.m. Secret Diary of a Call Girl(Showtime)
Say goodbye to your favorite fictional call girl, as the sexy Showtime series packs it in after getting us hooked (see what we did there?) for four seasons. We don't know what will become of Belle de Jour (beautiful Brit Billie Piper) and if she'll leave the lady of the night business behind for good. In the event that she does decide to switch careers, we recently heard there's a vacancy over at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. Just sayin'.
Friday, May 27
9:00 p.m. How It's Made(Science)
During this brand-new episode you'll learn how items like incense cones, scale turbine engines, whips, and automated pizza makers are made. Plus, if you put all those items together, you've got yourself one hell of a weekend in store (bonus points if you figure out a way to remove the pizza with the whip!)
Saturday, May 28
10:00 p.m. VH1 Classic Revolver Golden God Awards (VH1 Classic)
Raise your goblet of rock once more to the late, great Ronnie James Dio, who was honored during the 3rd Annual Revolver Golden God Awards, as did Mötley Crüe, who was bestowed with the Ronnie James Dio Lifetime Achievement Award. In addition to the Dio tribute, the ceremony, which was filmed at L.A.'s Club Nokia on April 21, had plenty of other hang-banging, ear-splitting madness courtesy of Alice Cooper, Avenged Sevenfold,and Rob Zombie. There was even an Honorary Headbanger Award presented to William Shatner for chrissakes! The show may start at 10, but this one most definitely goes to 11.
In The Event Your Dude Card Has Been Revoked
Wednesday, May 25
The Oprah Winfrey Show(ABC) Check local listings
You know what you did.