Valentine’s Day is almost here and judging by the slick sheen of anxiety sweat covering your forehead and shins, you haven’t bought your significant other a single thing. Never fear! (Well, fear sometimes, like when a snake lays eggs in your esophagus.) We’ve got your covered with gift ideas for both guys and girls that are guaranteed to make your celebration of St. Valentine a success.
If you guys have been together for five years or more…(Jump to: 1 Month | 6 Months | 1 Year)
Personalized Stump Ring
Giving a girl a “stump ring” sounds weird, like it’s a special piece of jewelry for her secret sixth nub finger that she grew after submerging her hand in radioactive chemicals. (Hi Diane!) But in reality, this ring is a pretty nice way to show your girlfriend you long-term care enough to carve your initials into a tiny silver tree stump. That’s about as “forever” as it gets without getting down on one knee.
$210, Uncommon Goods
Chicks dig it when you have a black in the pants. Amex, that is. Only, your bum ass isn’t spending the $250K to get one, so opt for the next best thing. The Founders Card offers up tons of benefits to members, from discounts on custom suits to upgrades on airlines and hotels. So when you can’t close at a Motel 6, cross town to a W and get yourself a suite instead.
$495 per year (Maxim readers use code FCMAXIM12 to get it for $295), founderscard.com
Crosley Portable USB Spinnerette Turntable
You’ve been with your lady for a while and it’s time to put a ring on it, or maybe just something that’s shaped like one. Show her how much you respect her taste in music (yeah, even if it’s Glee and Nicki Minaj on repeat) with the Crosley Portable USB Spinnerrette Turntable, which plays vinyl records and converts them to MP3s. Plus, it’s bright red for V-Day. Win-win-win!
$169.95, Fred Flare
You’ve been together for at least half a decade. It’s time to show her that you really care, and what says it better than a fluffy, yippy, fur ball with wobbly legs and an untrained bladder? Not much, my friend. Go big or go home...to an angry, disappointed girlfriend.
Price ranges, but check out adoption options here.
College Football Helmet Cufflinks
This is a big win for the die-hard college football fan. Made from authentic football helmets and sterling silver, these cufflinks allow a guy to wear his heart, whether it bleeds crimson, gold, blue, etc., on his sleeve, even when he's all dressed up. And did we mention how much he adores you not only for enduring but also for celebrating his fanaticism? Now that’s love.
$180, Uncommon Goods
Dogs are living, breathing art. If you don’t go through with the puppy adoption, go for the next best thing—a blueprint of one! Show off how well you know your favorite breeds with this piece of apartment/home décor. Yeah, we just said décor. But we pronounce it “deecker” because we keep it street up in here.
75 Years of DC Comics
This is the ultimate gift for the DC Comics fan. This giant book (11.4 x 15.6 in. and 720 pages) is a conversation piece and the only thing your guy will need on his coffee table (just make sure he avoids having his greasy takeout around it). Get this for your guy, and you will forever be his Wonder Woman.
Zeal Optics Z3 GPS with MOD Tech
Skipping the slopes this year because you can’t be away from your phone for eight hours? Check out these Zeals that combine anti-fog, anti-glare lenses with a heads up display that also shows your altitude, speed, location, incoming calls and text messages. Now you have no excuse but to ride like a champion.
If you've been dating for...