Valentine’s Day is almost here and judging by the slick sheen of anxiety sweat covering your forehead and shins, you haven’t bought your significant other a single thing. Never fear! (Well, fear sometimes, like when a snake lays eggs in your esophagus.) We’ve got your covered with gift ideas for both guys and girls that are guaranteed to make your celebration of St. Valentine a success.
If you’re a year into your relationship…(Jump to: 1 Month | 6 Months | 5+ Years)
The Deuce Charm Necklace
There's no better way to tell your girlfriend she's the shit than literally.
X:Cube Double Exposure 8 Mode Toy Digital Camera
Your Instagram-lovin’ lady deserves to develop her artistic interests. This camera's many settings include Under Exposure, Over Exposure, and Double Exposure. She’ll take her vintage-like shots to a new level, and you won’t feel so over-exposed on her Instagram feed, which somehow your mom had started following.
$129.99, AC Gears
Watson Adventures Valentine's Day Scavenger Hunts
If you live in a major city, chances are Watson Adventures can have you sleuthing your ass off instead of emptying your wallet for an overpriced, mediocre V-day dinner. Hunts range from food searches to nude searches (of the fine art variety). Harness your inner-Sherlock or inner-Father Dowling but without all that icky murder distracting you.
Price: $30-$50 per ticket, watsonadventures.com
Iron Man Cuff Links
French cuffs suck. Period. But if you’re gonna wear a shirt that your girlfriend usually has to help you put on, you might as well have Iron Man around to help back up your masculinity. Arc Reactor is, sadly, sold separately.
$59.99, AC Gears
iHome Table Lamp with iPhone Dock
Hiding your iPhone in bed can make for awkward and painful situations when that late night booty call comes in. Dock that puppy onto this lamp and set your mind (and crack) at ease. Bonus: Your iPhone’s screen adds “mood lighting” to all your bedroom escapades…if you actually seal the deal.
Bathrobes and Smoking Jackets are pretty much the only things we wear on Valentine’s Day but they seriously inhibit our opportunities to make Force and Light Saber jokes. No more! Step out of the shower, into this robe and get ready to Millennium Falcon the hell out of her. If you make her sound like Jar Jar Binks, you’re doing it right.
$89.99, Think Geek
Secret Passageway Switch
Most books are for reading, which is fine, but the book population doesn’t have much functional range. That's just one reason why this Secret Passageway Switch—pull the book and the lamp switches on—is the light of our lives, fire of our loins...Sorry Nabokov, but our passions just aren’t on the same page.
Hot Pot BBQ
This is another object we love for being more than meets the eye. A plant on a terrace, a back yard, or even a fire escape always looks nice, but nothing—especially not leafy greens—trumps grilling up burgers and dogs any time you please. Luckily, this Hot Pot BBQ is the best of both worlds, especially if your fresh-off-the-fire-escape hot dogs aren’t exactly celebrated by your landlord.
$124, MoMA Store