We gave you an inside look at the female thought process when she's going down on you, when you're going down on her, and what she's thinking during foreplay, but we haven't told you what goes through her mind during sex. Yet.
Now, we're here to let you in on what's going on in the deepest, darkest parts of her mind, when you're in her deepest, darkest parts, if you know what I mean.
Here, 12 things she might be thinking about during sex:
1. “I can’t wait to sit on that dick.”
You think you’re excited to have sex? Well, that makes two of you, because odds are she's just itching to hop on the D-train and take a trip to Fucksville. All aboard!
2. “You didn’t even notice my lingerie…? *swallows sadness*”
It’s my duty to tell you that women put a lot of time, effort, and money into their lingerie, so it breaks her horny little heart when you just rip her clothes and panties off without taking a minute to appreciate how hot she looks in all that lace. It’s as easy as taking a step back, sizing her up and down with lusty bedroom eyes, and whispering an appreciative “Goddamn, girl.”
3. “That’s not my clitoris. That’s not it either. Nope, still not my clitoris.”
Gentlemen. Oh, gentlemen. I’m sorry to say, but there’s obviously still some confusion about where the clitoris is located, and it’s a problem. The clitoris is to a woman what the tip of your penis is to you—very sensitive, packed with nerve endings, and not something that should be neglected.
We know the vagina is a literal maze, and it’s easy to get lost down there. If you’re questioning your spatial awareness when you’re pleasuring her, just ask her in the sexiest voice possible, “Where do you want me to touch you?” She’ll think you’re talking dirty, and she will point you in the right direction. It’s a win-win, which brings us to her next thought…
4. “Ooh, yeah, baby. Keep talking dirty to me.”
Those naughty, dirty words that slip out of your mouth are music to her ears, so keep ‘em coming. When you’re vocal, it *probably* means you’re enjoying the joining of the genitals that’s going on, and when you love it, she gets even more turned on. That said, don’t hold back. Go nuts. Moan, swear, whisper in her ear how good she feels and what you want to do to her.
5. “Wait--you want to do what to my what?”
Yeah, just don’t overdo it.
6. "Goddammit. I need to fart."
What? She's human too. That Chipotle-induced gas takes no prisoners.
7. “He really knows what he’s doing…where did he learn that?”
When you’re really working that D, she’s going to wonder where you picked up those skills. Don’t get me wrong—she’s loving it, but she can’t help but be curious when you’re an expert. Did your ex-girlfriend teach you that hand thing? Or did you learn it from some secret sex club? A particularly good one-night stand, perhaps? All things that run through her mind.
8. “Oh, he definitely learned THAT from porn.”
Are you jackhammer finger banging her? Don’t do that.
9. "Oh my God. *Has mind-blowing orgasm*"
High five, my friend.
10. “Don’t finish yet! No no no no no please not yet!”
You can’t cum without making her cum twice. That’s the unwritten rule of sex, for Pete’s sake. Not really, but do try and hold off as long as you can, because even if she already came once, she wants some more orgasms. I mean, who wouldn’t?
As long as all is well in the lubrication department, she can go on for hours. So, to help you last longer, here are some topics to think about to delay your own orgasm, just for her pleasure. Thank you, cum again.
Sometimes women don’t think of anything during sex. It's just radio silence in there. Every now and then it’s nice to turn your brain off and focus on the sensation of a dick pounding into you.
12. “Wow, that was amazing, I wonder how it was for hi--oh, he’s asleep.”
She wants to cuddle and engage in some pillow talk, but you do you, my dude. All that boinking sure is exhausting. Sweet dreams!