The researchers at University of Toronto and the University of Western Ontario studied a total of 229 couples who reported having sex an average of one to two times a week, with an average relationship of six years.
The couples documented their general sexual desire, perception of their partner’s sexual desire, and their satisfaction with their relationship via journal over the course of three weeks, or went into the lab and reported those same factors in person.
Analysis of the data found that more often than not, men significantly underestimated their partner’s sexual desire, whereas women totally knew when bae wanted to get it on. If this sounds like it’s unfair to women, it’s actually not.
According to the couples who kept a journal for the study, women rated their relationship satisfaction higher on days when their lover didn’t realize she was horny, suggesting men are better boyfriends when they can’t tell what the hell she’s feeling downtown, so they have to work for what they want. Which is to get in her pants.
It’s theorized that men will try harder to please a woman if he feels like she’s not really digging his advances (even if she is), which keeps him on his toes, because we all want what we can’t have.
Researchers also think a man will underestimate a woman’s horniness because he’s afraid of being rejected, which makes sense, seeing as rejection is one of the strongest human fears.
By just not initiating sex, he’s preserving his ego, because what's worse than walking your fingers seductively up her leg, only to have her swat your hand away and leave you and your dick untouched?
However, men aren’t the only ones to blame for this false perception. Often, women aren’t as overt in their advances for sex, or may be embarrassed to ask for sex, which might be a reason why men have trouble gauging her interest.
But here’s a simple solution for this whole mess: communicate. But in a sexy way. “It’s important not to initiate sex in a way that is a turn off to your partner,” says Dr. Amy Muise of the University of Toronto, suggesting you should avoid doing the finger-in-hole hand gesture while winking at her, and employ a sexier method instead.
Now you know your girlfriend is probably just as horny as you are. But when in doubt, just ask.