This New Coffee Gives You An Erection With Every Cup

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(Photo: Getty)

(Photo: Getty)

If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “Man, I wish my coffee would do something other than just wake me up and/or stimulate my bowels,” you’re in luck. There’s a new coffee that does a lot more than just that.

Behold Stiff Bull, the instant coffee that won't just make you perky, it'll make you're penis perky, too. Yes, that’s right, this magical java promises to give you a boner with every cup you drink. You know, for those times your morning wood isn’t at its woodiest, or for coffee dates that need a little extra pizzazz.

However, there’s a small problem with Stiff Bull – the FDA recently released a warning about this boner-rific coffee, advising people to stay away from the product due to hidden ingredients not listed on the packaging.

“This undeclared ingredient may interact with nitrates found in some prescription drugs such as nitroglycerin and may lower blood pressure to dangerous levels,” the FDA wrote in the advisory, warning consumers about dangerous drops in blood pressure that can cause dizziness, fainting, blurred vision, and nausea. Thanks, but no thanks.

"This coffee does what to my what?"

"This coffee does what to my what?"

Plus, there’s no proof that this coffee even does any java-voodoo to make your penis magically harder with each sip. Hmm.... 

So, you can either give it a shot and hope you don’t pass out or die or something, or you can play it safe and try other proven methods to get better boners, like maybe just popping a Cialis if you feel so inclined.

H/T: Men's Journal