10 Experiments In Life Hacking By a Life Hack Doubter
We trolled the Internet for hacks that made us say, “No way that’s gonna ever work!” and then we hacked it out. Enjoy our successes and failures, just like our moms and dads!
LIFE HACK 1: OPEN A BEER BOTTLE WITH AN ELECTRIC PLUG
With the right force and dexterity, an electric plug should successfully serve as a bottle opener. However, we’d only seen it done with non-American plugs. We didn’t let that hold us down.
Why We Didn’t Think This Would Work: Because electric plugs aren’t built like sturdy bottle openers.
Results: One out of five editors was successful in pulling it off. ‘Murica wins again!
LIFE HACK 2: KEEP YOUR BEER FROM SPILLING BY PUTTING A CD ON TOP
Sometimes, you have a beer, you spill it easily, either from shaking, being an idiot, or accidentally bumping into someone. Placing a CD around the top should alleviate the issue.
Why We Didn’t Think It Would Work:
The circumference of CD holes are almost never the same as the circumference of beer holes (the term “beer hole” can apply to many things, but here we’re talking about the opening of the bottle.)
Results:
It worked… kind of. After being shook up by Life Hack 1, the beer was ready to spew out. We put the CD on top, and… it did not spew. So, success?
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LIFE HACK 3: MAKE A MICROWAVABLE BROWNIE INSIDE A MUG
Drinking beer makes us hungry for chocolate. This recipe called for 1/4 cup of sugar, 1/4 cup of flour, a pinch of salt, two tablespoons of olive oil, three tablespoons of water, and two tablespoons of cocoa powder. Mix it all up, put it in the microwave for 01:40, and magically, a brownie is supposed to be there just waiting for you to eat it.
Why We Didn’t Think It Would Work: Because to make brownies, you need a pan, some butter, eggs, and a really kind mom. Not a microwave and some stuff you have but never use!
Results: It worked! Look, we’re not taking this to the next office potluck or anything, but if you want something super chocolatey (and a tiny bit salty) for a midnight snack, why not?
[pagebreak]LIFE HACK 4: CUT CAKE WITH FLOSS
To get nice, clean slices of cake, cheese, and other soft textured foods with no mess, online sources say to slice right through with unscented/unflavored dental floss.
Why We Didn’t Think It Would Work: Because men need knives to cut cake, damnit!
Results: It got kind of tough where the frosting meets the cake, but this works, and there was no cake residue left on the floss… resulting in more cake for everyone!
[pagebreak]LIFE HACK 5: STACK DRINKS ON EACH OTHER WITHOUT THEM BLENDING IN.
Neater than a striped shirt and just like sand art, you can get a perfectly stacked drink based on colored beverages’ sugar content. We started with Snapple’s Mango Madness, which had the most grams of sugar, and then Welch’s Grape Fruit Cocktail, and then lemon-lime G2.
Why We Didn’t Think This Would Work: It’s too good to be true and looks like witchcraft.
Results: It is witchcraft. We tried twice and both times, got dismal results. Maybe we don’t have the right pouring skills or our ice wasn’t cold enough. Maybe the Internet is a BIG FAT JUNGLE OF LIES.
[pagebreak]LIFE HACK 6: USE A FORK TO EAT AN OREO
Save your hands and fingers by placing a fork in the middle of an Oreo to dunk it.
Why We Didn’t Think It Would Work: Oreos are sugary and delicate gifts from the gods to make people happy. You can’t just stick forks in them, or they will die.
Results: After three tries it worked. Two Oreos immediately burst into shambles and then the third one was DTF. (Down to Fork.)
[pagebreak]LIFE HACK 7: USE A DUSTPAN TO FILL A BUCKET FULL OF WATER WHEN THE SINK IS TOO SMALL
Why We Didn’t Think This Would Work: It seems like you would need very exact dimensions of the dust pan and sink for this to work out.
Results: We were right. Big time fail. Firstly, our dustpan handle had a couple of holes in it (purposely designed that way, too). Secondly, the water came right out of the sink, into the dustpan, and then slid down the curvature of the outside of the sink, hitting the floor directly underneath. Even when we put the bucket directly below the sink, only tiny trickles of water made it in. Sigh.
[pagebreak]LIFE HACK 8: MAKE A SLUSHIE OUT OF A BOTTLE OF SODA WITHOUT A SLUSHIE MACHINE, ICE, OR BLENDER
Shake up a bottle of soda, place it horizontally in the freezer. Wait for three hours. it should NOT be frozen solid yet. Take it out and twist off the cap very slightly and slowly. The soda will magically transform into slush right before your eyes. Pour it into a glass, drink, and have the time of your life sipping on it.
Why We Didn’t Think This Would Work: Getting the soda to get cold enough but not freeze while in the freezer for three hours seems really intimidating. Also, failing would mean a miserable, sticky, sugary mess to clean up.
Results: We did it! The first try was with Sunkist Orange Soda and it was half frozen solid and then it exploded. But then, we tried with Coca-Cola and it worked perfectly. Slushie heaven for everyone!
[pagebreak]LIFE HACK 9: MAKE AN IPHONE SPEAKER FROM A TOILET PAPER ROLL
Cut a slot that your iPhone will fit into in an empty toilet paper roll. Place two push pins underneath to hold it up, as a stand. It should amplify your music.
Why We Didn’t Think It Would Work: If this sort of thing works, why would anyone spend money on a speaker?
Results: It definitely amplified the music. Not by a ton, but definitely enough to annoy some co-workers. We’ll still buy speakers for our parties, but it was neat to see such an amazing collaboration between the 20th and 21st centuries!
BONUS: JUST PUT YOUR IPHONE IN A SOLO CUP. IT WORKS TOO.
Check out How To Tap a Watermelon and How To Do Everything: A YouTube Compendium.