The NBA Playoffs have been a complete snooze this year, a trend that will hopefully end when the Cavs and Warriors renew their rivalry in the Finals. Until then, basketball fans will have to settle for watching the soap opera that is NBA on TNT, where gigantic men slap fight like 10-year-old brothers.
Tuesday night's show featured an especially entertaining spat between Shaq and Charles Barkley. These two NBA legends have gone at it plenty of times before, but on Tuesday the tension got thicker than Shaq's thighs as he an Chuck threatened bodily harm to one another and seemed half serious about it.
It all began with a dumb-as-dogshit piece of analysis from a man who once called himself "The Big Aristotle."
"Another must-win for Cleveland," Shaq said in reference to the upcoming game five between the Cavs and Celtics, which is not a must win for Cleveland considering they're up 3-1 in the series.
Chuck scoffed at this and immediately everything fell apart.
Shaq, with a big ass plate of ribs in front of him, started throwing insults. Chuck has only been to the Finals once, he said. "People question why you're in the Hall of Fame, anyway," he added. "Bum," he repeated.
All the while, Chuck named players who helped Shaq win four NBA Titles. Kobe Bryant, Dwayne Wade, Alonzo Mourning and Rick Fox.
This wounded Shaq. So he swung back with a threat of physical violence. "I'm going to punch you right in the face one day," he said.
"I'm gonna throw one of these chicken wings at your fat ass," Chuck shot back.
Credit to Kenny Smith for trying to maintain some order here. And even more credit to Ernie for giving up and going to town on that mac and cheese.