Put this in your pipe and smoke it, Don Draper.
(Photo: Everett Collection)
Disney’s new sports feelgoodathon is Million Dollar Arm, the story of a scout who went to India to find the next great MLB pitcher, presumably stumbling upon some hilarious cultural misunderstandings and a heart-warming love story along the way. But in the realm of insured celebrity body parts, a million dollar arm is child’s play.
Keith Richards’ Middle Finger - $1.6 Million
Cut in front of Richards in traffic and you might find yourself on the butt end of the most expensive insult in the world. However, flipping the bird isn’t the only thing this million-and-a-half dollar finger is good for; Richards' left middle finger is also the one that formed the chords to countless classics, not to mention being privy to some experiences it has sworn to keep secret.
Bruce Springsteen’s Vocal Cords - $6 Million
The Boss took a policy out on his oft-strained pipes to the tune of $6 million dollars. Although, if he ever lost his ability to sing, the payout should be distributed amongst his fans, as they’d be the real victims here. On the bright side, we’d never need to hear that Working on a Dream nonsense again.
Tom Jones’ Chest Hair - $7 Million
Sure, some would say that Tom Jones climbed to fame because of his voice or his good looks, but the man himself knows that it’s actually his hairy chest that has kept him on top. The 73-year-old owns a $7 million policy to help him sleep better at night. At least we know he'll never be chilly.
Jennifer Lopez’s Butt - $27 Million
Lloyd’s of London, which regularly does this sort of thing, issued Jenny from the block a $27 million policy for her caboose. Makes sense, as it was the driving force behind her fame, but couldn’t her time be better spent making amazing movies? Uh, never mind.
Mariah Carey’s Legs - $1 Billion
As part of some Gillette campaign that Carey was participating in, the singer took out a one billion dollar policy on her stems. Yes, we said one billion. The brand claimed that the sum – which is equal to a decently sized country's GDP - “reflects her popularity.” This is obviously not true, because if it was, Beyoncé would be strolling around on $1 trillion dollar legs, by comparison.
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