Mark Wahlberg Asks Pope Francis for Forgiveness for Ted

The Holy Fathah did not find it very funny.
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The Holy Fathah did not find it very funny.
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I lived in Boston for five years, and I left with the ability to sense whether there’s a Dunkin’ Donuts within 50 feet, a tolerance for Dropkick Murphys, and a deep appreciation for Mark Wahlberg. My warmth for the latter runs so deep that I often find myself lazing on the couch watching his burger show for hours on end, even if there isn’t any of the chair-throwing conflict that makes reality TV worth it in the first place.

So it truly saddens me to see Marky Mark bomb so terribly while telling Pope Francis a jokeAccording to USA Today, the Pope was in Philly on Saturday night (surprisingly, not the joke) for the Festival of Families. Young Bobby Hill of the Keystone State Boychoir sang an opera solo that was just *kisses fingertips like an Italian chef* before Wahlberg took the stage to fulfill his role as master of ceremonies (nope, still haven't gotten to the joke yet).

Wahlberg congratulated Hill for his singing, saying, “that right there was truly the voice of an angel. But then he whispered in my ear that he loved the movie Ted.  And I told him that was not appropriate for a boy of his age. Holy fathah, please forgive me. I’ve always hoped that the good lord has a sense of humor when it comes and pertains to many of the movies that I’ve made.”

This was Pope Francis’ reaction.

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One more time. 

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DAMN, Pope. That's cold. 

There are, of course, many reasons why the Holy Fathah didn’t laugh at Wahlberg’s jokes. Perhaps he simply had no idea what Wahlberg was saying. Maybe he really hated Ted. Maybe he has it on good authority from God that Wahlberg is totally not gonna be forgiven for his films.

Or, more likely, he was disappointed that Wahlberg didn’t bring up his favorite movie, Boogie Nights.