We Want Answers: Timothy Olyphant

Agent 47 took a break from popping heads and plugging prostitutes to chat about Hitman’s big-screen debut.

In Hitman, you play a

world-class assassin. If you could whack one person, who

would it be?
[Laughs] Man, I can

only pick one? That’s tough. Got any ideas?

How

about Dr. Phil?
But he seems like he’s trying so

hard.

Fine. What about Glenn

Beck?
Oh, that’s the pudgy guy on cable, right? Yeah, we

can take him out. You know what the deal is with that guy? He’s not

funny.

He is when he’s nursing a bullet wound.

So how much would it cost?
Shouldn’t be that expensive.

I did hang out with assassins to prepare for the film, but I don’t like to talk

too much about that kind of stuff.

Did you play

any of the video games to prepare for the film,

too?
Here’s the biggest difference I’ve noticed between

the game and the movie, from my preparation: You know in the game how you can

control what’s happening on the screen? Yeah, you won’t be able to do that in

the movie.

If we scanned Agent 47’s bar code at the

grocery store, how would he ring up?
About $14.95.

That’s a sale price. Unless you’re buying in bulk—then you can get like a dozen

for $11.95. It’s a pretty sweet deal.

Video

game movies have been pretty hit-or-miss in the past. What’s going to keep
Hitman from being the next Super Mario

Bros.?
Wasn’t Bob Hoskins in that movie? He’s

fantastic! So it can’t be that bad. Maybe it could have been better, but some of

those Godfathers could have been better. Our movie could

have been better with Bob Hoskins, for

example.

You’ve played scumbags that aren’t all

bad (Go, The Girl Next Door) and

avengers that aren’t all good (Hitman,
Deadwood). Are you trying to tell us that you’re

complicated?
I am a complicated guy, without a question.

Like right now, I’m confused by my own answers.

We’re all Deadwood heads,

and have heard a dozen conflicting stories about its future. Can you set the

record straight for us?
When you say

“Deadwood heads,” you just mean people calling out from

their place in Iowa, right? I’m teasing. I enjoy hearing that people like it so

much. Please tell everyone I send them my best, and I’m sorry to report that

there is nothing that I know of.

Do you still

hate The Family

Circus?
[Laughs] You
do know those were just lines from a movie? When

[Go writer] John August called the creators of the comic to

get permission to use it in the movie, and they saw my character was so

despicable, they thought it was a good thing that I didn’t like The

Family Circus. That’s how we got it in the

movie.

How’d you land your gig as a local radio

sports reporter?
I just picked up the phone and started

calling. I thought it’d be fun. Of course, other people don’t think that’s a

good idea, but I’ve been going a year and half now. I’m not quite sure what’s

going on.

How come you never give any love to

hockey?
[Laughs] Let’s face it:

Nobody really cares about hockey. I mean, who is number one in the West? Who

cares? But hockey is the greatest sport to see live.

Ever think of sporting the chrome dome for

good?
That’s not always a volunteer situation. It might

just all go. I think about it just like every man thinks about it. Oh,

crap, one day I might be bald. Just like people who watch too much

hockey think to themselves, Oh crap, one day I might wake up without

teeth.