What’s the biggest turn-on for a woman? -- Having your own personal shredder, obviously. Our dates go wild when they come back to our place and we show ‘em who’s the boss at protecting you from identity theft and making those office blackmail photos disappear. Fellowes Powershred W-11C Shredder from Rotocade can shred all (this does not include text messages, trees, body parts or any other object larger than 11 sheets of legal-sized paper). Equipped with a safety interlock switch that saves you from chopping a finger off when the unit is lifted from a surface, this shredder also comes with steel cutters that will make those unwanted credit cards disappear. If you’re unsatisfied with the 9-inch wide entry, Fellowes guarantees a three-year warranty. Click “Buy Now” and don’t just shred alone on your Wii-guitar anymore, grab somebody and Powershred! Or, y’know, shred a gremlin. It’s all good.