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Shat on That!

 

 

Star Trek Tiberius Cologne
$30
This cologne beams up your nostrils with notes of citron, pepper, and cedar. It promises to transport you to “new worlds of sensual discovery,” which, for a Trekker, means kissing with tongue.

Shat says: “It’s strong but not horrible! It smells vaguely like Captain Kirk after a hard day’s work. Will it attract females? Pheromones disguise themselves in various ways, and ¿this may not be one of them.”

 

SpongeBob Squarepants Cologne for Men
$25
With hints of nutmeg, green leaves, jasmine, pear, and cardamom, the talking loofah wrings out a fresh, clean scent. Or so it claims.

Shat says: “I thought it had a harsh overtone of fried eggs and olive oil. The scent lingered for about 48 hours, so when it’s on, it’s really on. And the bottle has a weird top on it, so it’d be a conversation piece between you and the lady you’re trying to impress.”

 

Spider-Man Cologne for Men by Marvel
$30
The Spider-Man cologne takes the form of woody tones mixed with orange blossom and vanilla. Smell like a superhero without having to save any icky senior citizens or loser orphans.

Shat says: “If you work out a lot and don’t wash your clothes for about two weeks, this scent might cover that scent. Because it’s really powerful.”

 

Shatner’s Raw Nerve airs Sundays at 10 p.m. on the Biography Channel.