Onechanbara: Bikini Zombie Slayers (D3 Publishers; Wii) (Early 2009)

A pair of sexy, bikini-clad sisters chops its way through hordes of brain-craving zombies using katanas (and, presumably, sex) as weapons. From the same company that brought you the quintessential crap game of all time, Zombies Vs. Ambulance (available only in Japan, unfortunately), this style-over-substance Wii game is part of a growing number of self-aware, Ed Wood–style discs hitting the market this year. Maxim Tip: Be sure to shake the gore off your sword regularly, else you'll run the risk of getting your weapon lodged in a zombie's torso, leaving you vulnerable to attack.


Left 4 Dead (Valve; PC, 360) (Nov. 7th 2008)

Make room in the boat for one more zombie game. Left 4 Dead is a fresh take on the shoot-the-walking-corpses genre. The gist: You and three friends are dropped into a hostile, zombie-filled world (the game can be played cooperatively, or solo). Your goal: work together to shoot your way to freedom. Forget those stoned shufflers from the Resident Evil games—these zombies run like track stars. Best of all, each time you play the game, enemies never appear in the same place twice, keeping gameplay from getting stale. Unlike your marriage. (We told you she was a nag.)


MadWorld (Sega; Wii) (2009)

MadWorld's kill-your-way-to-glory game show premise—you play a man who finds himself on a show called "Death Watch"—has been around since ye olde Smash TV days. As you carve a bloody path through S&M-style enemies, a pair of bozo commentators crack crappy jokes. Example: Impale an enemy with a couple of Yield signs, and one commentator says, "Hey, he should have seen the signs!" Bad puns aside, the game's novel three-color palette—black, white, and lots of red—visually distinguishes it from pretty much everything else out there. And your primary weapon? It's a who-wants-to-have-a-little chainsaw. In the words of the Evil Dead's Ash: "Groovy."


Fat Princess (Sony; PS3 via download) (2009)

No, it's not the name of a new Kirstie Alley sitcom. But it sure could be. Think: "Capture the Flag," only instead of a traditional flag, you have a princess. A very fat princess. The object is to protect your princess while stealing the other team's princess. But here's the twist: Keep your princess nice and fat by constantly stuffing her blowhole with goodies, and should she fall into the opposing team's hands, they'll have a much tougher time hauling her fat-ass back to base. But quit feeding her, and she'll lose weight quicker than David Hasselhoff loses dignity. Very few games manage to be both funny and fun to play, but Fat Princess handily succeeds on both counts.