Feeling lost and confused? 2008 Hometown Hotties Champ and Maximum Exposure host April Rose will now take your questions.
How do I hit on a beautiful girl like you without looking (a) frightened or (b) like a total douchebag?
Bob E., Bethesda, MD
Nightclubs are the best places to pick up women if you have no game, since the music is so loud you can’t have a real conversation anyway. Some dance moves would help!
My girlfriend has a thing for sex in public places, but I’m nervous we’ll get busted. How do I tell her?
Doug M., Tampa, FL
Don’t be a prude! So what if you spend a night in jail? It’s a badge of honor.
I’m having trouble housebreaking my Doberman puppy. What can I do?
Rich B., Miller Place, NY
I crate-trained my 140-pound bullmastiff as a puppy. If that doesn’t work, pee in his bed, and if he tries to bite you, bite back.
If all history is relative, there can be no such concept as being, right?
Brendan K., Phoenix, AZ
What the heck in our relative history made you think I could answer that? But I appreciate the compliment!