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Hottest Hillbillies

She's the girl next door...who's also your cousin. And she's lookin' pretty cute.
 

 

When the guys from Workaholics attended our weekly editorial meeting, the conversation quickly turned to hot girls, and not just any hot girls. Yes, the quest for the hottest hillbillies was a long and complicated conversation, mostly because we're not entirely sure that the gang knew what a hillbilly was. Nonetheless, we came up with a pretty solid list of honeys from the hills.

Catherine Bach/Jessica Simpson as Daisy Duke, Dukes of Hazzard

Photo: Warner Bros. / Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012


Photo Courtesy of Warner Bros. Pictures | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Daisy Duke, the ultimate backwoods babe, wasn’t kissin’ cousins with the other Dukes, but we’re sure they thought about it. Played by Catherine Bach in the TV series and Jessica Simpson in the much-later remake, both Dukes' iconic hot pants made Daisy's uh, hills the hottest in all the land.

Jaime Pressly as Joy Turner, My Name is Earl

Photo: Mitchell Haaseth / FOX / Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Between the kid named after a car (Dodge) and a tramp stamp of Smurfette riding a skateboard with Dodge's birthday on it, good ol' Joy knows how to celebrate the hillbilly in her. And we loved watching every second of it...even that episode when she contracted a disease from a hot tub.

Donna Douglas as Elly May Clampett, Beverly Hillbillies

Photo: Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
From regular hillbilly to Beverly Hillbilly, this gal proved that you can take the girl out of the backwoods, but you can't take the backwoods out of the girl. And that's the way we like it.

Brittany Daniel as Brandy, Joe Dirt

Photo: Columbia Pictures / Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Anyone who falls in love with a guy named Joe Dirt--and gets caught up in a love triangle with said Joe Dirt and Kid Rock--undoubtedly has some hillbilly in her. Few could pull it off as well as Brittney Daniels and her wardrobe of cropped tops.

Lindsay Pulsipher as Crystal the Werepanther, True Blood

Photo: HBO / Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
As a werepanther who lives in the hills and sticks to inbreeding to keep the kitty-cat line going, Crystal proved that supernatural creatures can be hillbillies too. But her passionate-turned-totally-deranged love affair with Jason Stackhouse, a guy from outside her family(!), also made her a seriously hot HILF.

Jennifer Lawrence as Ree, Winter’s Bone

Photo Courtesy of Roadside Attractions | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Jennifer Lawrence has become a bit of an expert at playing a hottie from the hills. Most recently, she’s a hillbilly warrior princess of the future from the Appalachian mountain area-turned District 12 in the dystopian teen sensation The Hunger Games. But even before she struck franchise gold, Jennifer found Oscar-nominated gold in her role as the daughter of a missing Meth cooker in the Ozarks. In both roles, she shoots and skins squirrels like a champ.

Questionable Suggestions/Honorable Mentions
Jodie Foster as Nell, Nell

Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Well, sure, she's grown up isolated in the forest around the Appalachian Mountains, but we're just not sure if putting Nell on this list is the best thing to do. She's been through a lot, you guys. And we wouldn't want to invite any unwanted attention her way.

Juliette Lewis as Becky, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape

Paramount / Courtesy Everett Collection| Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
So, yes, she lived in a trailer with her granny. But in the context of the movie, this made her seem rather worldly and sophisticated since they were road-tripping across the country for fun, or something. Despite the Workaholics' claim that Juliette Lewis is the ultimate hillbilly, we can't find the evidence!

Laurie Metcalf as Jackie Harris, Rosanne

Carsey-Werner Company / Courtesy Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
 Rosanne was applauded for its portrayal of the working class, Midwestern family, so though Jackie Harris may have our hearts as a blue collar babe of the 90s, we see no signs of hillbilly--no extended time in a rural setting, no skinning and eating small mammals, no sexual tension with relatives. But if you want to scour nine seasons of Rosanne for the proof, be our guests. We'd be happy to reevaluate.

Workaholics Reject Suggestions:
Elvira

New World / Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Look, Elvira's got some serious appeal, but "She lives on a hill!" doesn't make her a hillbilly. Sorry, guys.

Charlie Hunnam as Jackson "Jax" Teller, Sons of Anarchy

Photo: Prashant Gupta / FX | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Well, first of all, Jax is a guy...so that wasn't really what we were looking for. Secondly, being part of a California biker gang is less backwoods, more badass. Sorry, Jax (and Adam), but there's no place for you here.

Leslie Easterbrook as Sgt. Debbie Callahan, Police Academy

Photo: Warner Bros / Courtesy Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
While she's build like a tree--a big, beautiful tree--and could tear anyone limb from limb, her strength doesn't necessarily suggest anything particularly hillbilly-ish. And without any signs of a backwoods background or inner-family marital ties, the sergeant sadly misses a spot on this list. 

John Matuszak as Sloth, The Goonies

Photo: Warner Bros / Courtesy Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
HEY YOU GUYS! We love Sloth. And we think he's beautiful in his own way...but alas, that way is not the Hottest Hillbillies way.

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