If there’s ever been a reason to clean up our act, it’s our gorgeous new maid!
So how gross was the office when you came in this morning?
Honestly, I was mortified by how dirty it was. I spent the whole day dusting, scrubbing, and watering dying plants.
Did anything here make you gag?
There was this nasty Circus Balls cereal that someone had spilled all over their desk. Who eats that, anyway?
We’re gross. We know.
Yeah, but for a bunch of slobs, all the Maxim guys look pretty well put together. Look, I wouldn’t kick you out of the bed for eating crackers.
Did you snoop around in anybody’s trash?
No way! The staff asked me to reprimand interns if I saw them getting out of line, so it would have been embarrassing if I were caught acting unprofessionally. I know the rules. This wasn’t my first cleanup job.
Really? You don’t look like a typical cleaning lady.
Well, I used to work on a dive boat, and sometimes I would have to clean up passengers’ puke. But I also got to spend the day in a bikini and go scuba diving, which made up for it.
You ought to open up your own scantily clad cleaning service.
You know, I have a business degree, so I could probably make that happen.
Office Assistant: Deana
Office Assistant: Johanna