We hired a new security guard, and suddenly everyone was a troublemaker!
Did you catch any suspicious outsiders trying to con their way into the office today?
I’m more worried about the people inside Maxim after seeing how dangerous and naughty they are on their own!
Yeah, there was a lot of bad behavior on display.
There definitely was—shame on you, Maxim! I caught one guy checking out girls on Instagram, another employee stealing a bottle of tequila…I had to administer quite a few spankings.
Trust me, those guys deserved the whippings they got. I’m not saying the whole staff was out of control. There were just a few bad seeds. Some guys spent the whole day concentrating on their computers and didn’t even notice me.
What was your best peacekeeping weapon?
Actually, I’d have to say my uniform. It’s comfortable and commands much more attention than the outfits regular police officers have to wear.
By the end of the day, did the guys respect your authority?
Of course—it’s the power of the cleavage.
Do you get into trouble when you’re off-duty?
No, I’m a good girl. I take care of my dog, buy things for the house, and cook for my boyfriend. As you can see, my sadistic side comes out only at work!
Office Assistant: Deana
Office Assistant: Alli