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How to Make Fast-Food Fondue

Epic Meal Time’s culinary extremists Harley Morenstein and Josh Elkin dare you to stick your meat in a boiling pot of cheese.

Photographed for Maxim by Mark Olson

1. ASSEMBLE YOUR MEATS
Deep-Fried Burgers
1. Heat oil to 400 degrees. Careful, this is dangerous shit!
2. Mix two parts flour, one part beer, and two tablespoons of salt in a bowl, creating a thick batter.
3. Squeeze the burger into a ball.
4. Dip the burger ball into batter and then into the oil, cooking until golden-brown.

Fast-Food Sushi
1. Cook bacon strips for 10 minutes on each side at 385 degrees, overlapping for ultimate rolling satisfaction. Or until they’re burned; we don’t give a shit how you eat your bacon!
2. Cut the burgers lengthwise. If you can’t do this, give up, ’cause it’s the easiest part of the recipe.
3. Lay fries and burger bits on top of the bacon. Let them share their juices.
4. Using tinfoil, roll up the fast food and bacon like a huge fast-food burger blunt!
5. Put in fridge for 20 minutes or, if you’re in Canada, just leave it by a window. Then cut that up into sushi rolls!

Chicken McNuggets

Photographed for Maxim by Mark Olson
Fat kids love these, and so do you!

Big Mac Combos

Photographed for Maxim by Mark Olson
Even your dad can’t get enough of these bad boys.

Steak Bites

Photographed for Maxim by Mark Olson
Cook some filet mignon. We throw ours on the grill, but maybe you’re a weirdo and put it in a pot of butter.

2. MAKE YOUR MOLTEN DIP
Cheese Sauce
Melt one brick of Velveeta cheese into sauce. (Follow instructions; it’s pretty fuckin’ basic.)

3. SKEWER UP
Stab those grease­lings onto a stick, dip into cheese sauce, and get your fat ass fatter!

Want more Maxim Food? Check out ZOMG There Will Be No More Twinkies and The Weird Cooking Guide.

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