The Internet Has Just Gifted Us With The ‘iTunes of Blowjobs’

Getting a simulated BJ is now as easy as downloading your favorite song…

In this day and age, we know better than to expect anything but over-the-top, customized, virtual reality sex experiences. Am I right? I’m right. 

There’s VR porn that “makes you better in bed,” there’s a VR porn headset that lets you turn your hotel room into a VR sex den, and there’s even a terrifying VR sex suit that makes me really uncomfortable. The future is now, my dudes.

And now, behold BlowCast, the VR blowjob experience brought to you by webcam site CamSoda, where you can get a “blowjob” anytime, from anyone. Well, not anyone, but from a lady of your choice of a wide selection of cam girls.

And just a fun fact: CamSoda is the very same company that asked presidential debate superstar Ken Bone to do an hour-long sexy live stream in exchange for $100,000 and a lifetime of embarrassment.

Now back to the real story. BlowCast works by means of some serious algorithms, where cam girls are given a Kiiroo Pearl, which is a vibrating dildo that collects sensory data while the cam girl gives it a blowjob. The data is then uploaded to the BlowCast system, by which users can select a blowjob of their choice based on which cam girl you want to pretend is sucking your dick.

As the virtual blowjob receiver, you’d pick your winning cam girl, slip a high-tech sleeve over your junk, put on the accompanying video, and sit back and enjoy your electronic blowjob. The dick sleeve replicates the sensory data from your cam girl’s dildo, so that it’s basically like she’s giving you a blowjob, but she’s not. But she is. But she’s actually not. Know what I’m saying?

“This does not feel like real sex with someone, but it’s the best thing that’s out there yet,” CamSoda president Daron Lundeen told Motherboard. “It transfers what’s occurring, so you feel exactly what the girls are doing on the device.”

Sounds muy bueno, but some people are scared of hackers tapping into your online dick sleeve, and manipulating the motor so that it squeezes the life out of your Johnson. Seriously – it could happen. After all, teledildonics do collect data, therefore are very susceptible to third party access.

“On the CamSoda side we do a lot to protect our users, but the device does use Kiiroo’s network so we’re trusting them to manage their devices,” Lundeen said. “But you can’t not offer a new technology to people because you’re afraid there might be some hacker out there.”

That said, there’s always a tiny chance a pervy hacker might tap into your simulated blowjob experience and completely ruin it, but odds are he won’t. Your penis is probably safe. You’ll be fine. Probably.

Currently, BlowCast has a collection of 50 different simulated blowjobs, and each one has a one-time fee of $1. But with the purchase of the $250 dick sleeve, you have full access to all blowjobs for 30 days! Woohoo!

H/T: Motherboard