Women Are Super Turned On by Sweating and Frowning, Says Science

Tough luck, clean guys who smile!
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Tough luck, clean guys who smile!
(Photo: AleksandarNakic/Getty Images)

(Photo: AleksandarNakic/Getty Images)

If you were forced to see Fifty Shades Darker (or any romantic movie ever, for that matter), you'd think the ideal sex god must be perfectly chiseled, must never exude a drop of sweat despite hours of thrusting, and must have mastered an agreeable "sex face" to satisfy his partner.

Not so.

An aggregation of scientific studies posted on the New York Post debunks all those overly sanitized and rosy images of sexuality we see too often on the big screen. It turns out, ladies find it hottest when men sweat and don't smile, which would doubly apply in the bedroom when she needs to be aroused the most.

A study published in the journal Evolution and Human Behaviour found that women are more naturally attracted to the expressions seen on men who possess the "Dark Triad" traits, which include narcissism, Machiavellianism and psychopathy. It may sound bizarre, but ladies love a bad boy, not smiling toadies. Instead, the study urges that men furrow their brows and frown, not smile at women.

A separate study published in the Journal of Neuroscience found that women become sexually aroused when they smelled male sweat, indicated by an acceleration of heartbeats and increased levels of the stress hormone cortisol. This disproves, at last, that men must be squeaky and smell like they've just walked out of a Calvin Klein store to woo the ladies.

Gentlemen, a rarified cologne is nice for certain occasions, and smiling doesn't hurt every now and again. But the science of lust is clear—women want you sweaty and brooding.