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12 Superheroes Who Should Be On '70s Vans

Is it just us, or do some of Marvel and DC's characters just look more at home splashed on the exterior of a van from the Me Decade than they do on the pages of funnybooks? (You'll definitely agree once the first trailer for Kenneth Branagh's Thor movie hits in a few months.) We decided to put two and two together, and here's what we came up with.


Superheroes on 70s Vans

12. Dazzler

Like shag carpeting and VD, Dazzler owes her entire existence to disco.

 

Superheroes on 70s Vans

11. ROM: Spaceknight

A walking car battery armed to the teeth with techno-weaponry? In space, no one can hear you scream "Hell yes!"

 

Superheroes on 70s Vans

10. Dr. Strange

The lava lamp of superheroes, we're actually shocked that every issue of Dr. Strange doesn't smell like cumin and massage oil.

 

Superheroes on 70s Vans

9. Man-Wolf

"Hey, man, those howling wolves you have on your back window are OK, I guess. Me? I'm rocking a MOTHERF-ING WEREWOLF SPACE BARBARIAN on mine. Yeah, I know...it's pretty boss..."

 

Superheroes on 70s Vans

8. Brute Force

No, that's not an acid flashback. What you are seeing is, truly, a robotic dolphin with an uzi. This van clearly belongs to the Mr. Frosty of weed dealers.

 

Superheroes on 70s Vans

7. Thor

Fun fact: This van's stereo only plays Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song." At full blast.

 

Superheroes on 70s Vans

6. Lobo

Iron Maiden's Eddie is a decent start, but if you really want to metal-up your ride, you slap on this alien bounty hunter. He's like a gamma-irradiated Gene Simmons.

 

Superheroes on 70s Vans

5. Shang-Chi: The Master of Kung-Fu

Remember, grasshopper, a warrior's true strength is his mind. And a karate master's true home is the back of his van, so make with the waxing!

Superheroes on 70s Vans

4. Ghost Rider

If Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider to gain his Spider-Man powers, what happened to Ghost Rider? Was he bitten by the display wall of the Purple Rose Tattoo Parlor in Phoenix?

 

Superheroes on 70s Vans

3. Warlord

The guy behind the wheel of this bad boy brings his own 20-sided die to the party, thank you very much.

 

Superheroes on 70s Vans

2. Silver Surfer

You can just see that side door opening up, and Jeff Spicoli piling out in a haze of smoke, can't you? Expect to see this parked in the main lot at Latigo Beach permanently.

 

Superheroes on 70s Vans

1. Power Pack

"Hey, kids! I have a rare issue of Power Pack inside, called 'Power Pack and the Miserable Kid Who Always Tattled to His Mommy.' Want to read it? Hop in! Who wants candy?"