The thinking man’s action hero and Contraband star gets real on his last day.
So how do you want to go?
I’d like to pass away at home, in my own bed, surrounded by loved ones. I can see it now: I’m about to share the secret of life with them. They lean in real close to hear my whispered wisdom, but I fart instead and keel over with a horrific scream. Or maybe while hang gliding.
Will you be going to heaven or hell?
I don’t know. That question’s like going to a restaurant that offers only two options: filet mignon or burning cow shit. I know what sounds better to me, but I think I’ll eat somewhere else.
You started on Disney. What character would you least want to be stuck with in the afterlife?
Your final request to Mark Wahlberg: a live performance of “Good Vibrations” or an autographed Calvin Klein poster?
That poster is still considered currency in most countries.
If you got your hands on $15 million a day before you died, what would you spend it on?
Conquercancer.org. My auntie Susan started it. She’s a hero.
Would you trust your Six Feet Under costars with a funeral?
No. They’re fucking actors.
What woman did you always want to sleep with?
Bugs Bunny in drag.
Contraband is a remake. What’s one thing you wish you could do over?
If my life could be done over, I would spend less time as an older person wishing it could be done over.
What’s one contraband item you’d try to smuggle into the afterlife?
What’s one illegal thing you wish you could do before you die?
Chew gum in Singapore.
You’ve done a lot of stunt work. Which job has brought you the closest to death?
A movie set is surrounded by professionals to ensure that every safety precaution is adhered to. It’s when I’m researching a job and no one’s around to say no…
Do you have any deathbed confessions?
I loved every minute.
Got any last words?
“Did you see that?”