So how do you want to go?
Well, I arrived naked, screaming, and covered in blood, so going out should be a piece of cake.
Do you have any deathbed confessions?
Will you be going to heaven or hell?
I’m a rule follower, so let’s hope for heaven.
Which of your movies plays over and over in heaven?
Heaven’s DVD player is broken, so everyone is forced to read books.
You play an inventor in your new movie, Flash of Genius. What would you have liked to invent when you were alive?
I’m baffled that there’s a machine sitting on Mars frying up soil samples and yet we can’t construct a reasonably priced, battery-operated Father’s Day gift that would lead a man to his lost golf ball.
Was there anyone on Earth you wanted to punch in the face?
I’m happy to report that everybody whose face I’ve wanted to punch on Earth has already been punched.
Name one thing you’re glad you will never have to do again.
That awkward thing with guys where you’re not sure whether you’re supposed to hug or shake hands.
What’s your last meal?
I’m eating at a nice little café in Paris—that way I can drag the meal out for, say, four or five hours without raising anybody’s suspicions.
In your recent flick Ghost Town, you played a ghost. If you could come back and haunt anyone, who would it be?
Any CEO of any oil company. And I mean I really scare the shit out of them. We’re talkin’ naked guys running down hallways screaming.
What is your proudest accomplishment?
Watching my kids be good kids.
Do you regret not participating in tons of orgies, like your character in Auto Focus?
Hey, hey. I just mentioned children here! What is this? Maxim magazine?!
What are people saying over your casket?
He’s a lot taller than I thought.