Because Ender's Game is approximately the 417th space movie to come out this year. And, just because! (Warning: Contains spoilers.)
Tim Robbins in Mission to Mars
The next time you want to run your mouth about what a bona fide badass you are, ask yourself this question: Do you think your balls are big enough to take your helmet off in outer space - thereby causing your own certain and instant death - in order to prevent your fellow astronaut wife from risking her own life to save yours? No? Well, Tim Robbins' balls are that big - or rather, the balls of the fictional character he plays in this Brian de Palma-directed flick are that big. Obviously Tim Robbins himself is probably kind of a puss. (Scroll to 57:20 in the video above.)
Jek Porkins in Star Wars
If you're a virgin, then you probably already know that the line, "Cover me, Porkins!" spawned an entire meme. But for those who don't recall the character of Porkins, basically, this poor fat bastard was just minding his own business, flying his X-wing Starfighter during the Battle of Yasin, trying to destroy the Deathstar - as people do - when his plane was struck by debris, promptly causing it to explode. To make matters worse, right before he is blown to smithereens, Porkins says, "I'm alright!" Famous last words, indeed.
Bruce Willis in Armageddon
There are several rules to making a successful Bruce Willis picture, but the most important one is that Bruce's character never dies, unless it is to save the entire planet in a hilariously absurd act of heroism. Case in point: Armageddon, in which a blue collar worker named Harry Stamper (Willis) sacrifices himself to destroy the giant asteroid that is careening toward the Earth. There's no blood and guts when he drops the payload, but it remains one of the most memorable space movie deaths in history.
Basically Everyone in Prometheus
We're partial to the way Meredith Vickers (Charlize Theron) - who is as evil as she is sexy - gets steamrolled by a spaceship, but this handy YouTube video is a reminder that every character who died in Ridley Scott's modern prequel to Alien did so in the most excruciating way possible. Fun!
Baby Alien in Alien: Resurrection
You know that part in Look Who's Talking where Kirstie Alley describes the pain of childbirth in terms of squeezing something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a lemon? Well, if this baby alien - who gets completely sucked through a quarter-sized hole in the spaceship's facade - saw that movie, he would totally be like, "I hear that, sister!" Except that alien won't "be like" anything, because he is super dead.
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