From one man armies to dystopian road warriors, we trolled the Maxim film vaults to bring you the meanest men to ever straddle a hog.
Easy Rider- Sure, Captain America and Billy hardly qualify as a "gang," and their peace loving ethics certainly make them less than intimidating, but with choppers this bad ass looking, a gas tank full of cash and an alcoholic Jack Nicholson in tow, we had to tip our hats to these two-wheeled journey men. Ride on, brothers.
Mad Max- It stands to reason that the only thing strong enough to survive the arid Australian outback are psychopathic motorcycle gangs led by a men with names like Toecutter. Raping and pillaging the land, these maniacal, motorized villains run rampant, until a dude named Max who's mad as hell kills 'em off one by one.
The Gauntlet- While protecting a hooker-turned-witness with mob connections, Clint Eastwood is terrorized all over the American South West by a massive gang of bikers. Luckily the dude had the cojones to take them on with nothing more than a revolver and some sweet polyester threads. That, and being Clint Eastwood.
Pee Wee's Big Adventure- After knocking over a row of motorcycles at a truck stop, man-child Pee Wee seems to be in a pesky pickle with their pissed-off owners. But since this is a zany, nonsensical Tim Burton film, of course it only takes a simple dance to earn their respect and a free motorcycle. If only the same trick could help revive aging perv Paul Reuben's film career as a child entertainer.
Akira- When doctors have just told you that your body is basically a nuclear bomb waiting to explode and the government is on your tail, the last thing you and your girlfriend want to run into is a futuristic Japanese biker gang whose hobbies include poppin' wheelies and dressing as clowns. Talk about a road block! But that's just what doomed Tetsuo faced as he crisscrossed Neo Tokyo in this Japanese Animation classic.
Stone Cold- Nope, not the delicious ice cream or the red neck wrestlerwe mean the movie. In case you missed this cinematic piece de resistance, here's all the dramatic details you need to know: An FBI agent (Brian F-ing Bosworth!) is sent undercover to stop a murderous Mississippi biker bang dubbed, "The Brotherhood." Add white supremacy to the usual hobbies of running drugs and abusing women, and you've got a multitasking gang eligible for The Hell's Angel's annual Spirit award.
Cannonball Run- Yep, Peter Fonda reprised his career-defining roll as renegade biker Captain America from Easy Rider in 1981's Cannonball Run, proving that a motorcycle roadblock is as good an excuse as any to have Jackie Chan do a fight scene, and that, yes, all hippies became sellouts in the 80s.
Fletch Lives- The only reason wise-ass reporter Irwin Fletcher didn't get his, um, wise ass kicked by this motley crew of Louisiana bikers is because he duped the dimwits into thinking he was a member of the Harley Davidson Dynasty. Then they slapped a confederate flag and Schwartz Sticker-adorned brain bucket on his head, 'cause that's just how these amoral assholes roll.
Terminator 2- Oh what's that? Where'd Ah-nold get the tight leather pants and the cute little scooter? He beat up a whole biker bar, that's how. Still want to ask him for a lift?
Weird Science- Meeting your demise at the hands of an angry biker gang usually seems like something that happens on those long, lonely stretches of open road when you've got the wife and kids asleep in the back of the minivan and only your vivid imagination riding shotgun. They shouldn't be in your housewhich is what makes the bikers who terrorize Gary and Wyatt in Weird Science so damn petrifying. Did we also mention they're mutants from another dimension?