Death Sentence

There's nothing better than a great revenge movie, Man on Fire and Death Wish being the gold standards. But when we see one as stupid and sloppy as Death Sentence it makes us want to leave our normal lives and go looking for some payback on the people who ruined a perfectly good ass-kicking opportunity. Kevin Bacon and his overacting movie wife Kelly Preston lead the ideal upper-middle-class lives until their golden son (no, not the other one; he's just an annoying pussy) gets a machete to the throat as part of a gang initiation. This sends the mild-mannered Bacon on a quest to kill the gang. Great setup, right? Well, the execution blows. We could write a thesis on the plot holes. (Note to possible revenge seekers: It's best to wait at least a day to kill your son's suspected murderer, otherwise it may draw suspicion. Oh, and cops are completely ineffective when challenged by a ragtag gang that's easier to locate than a Starbucks.) We're all about making people suffer, and Bacon has always been one of our favorites, but he's given so little to work with here that his next revenge flick should target his agent and director James Wan.