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Dog Movie Previews: “World War Z,” “Maniac,” and “Monsters University”

Which movie should you see this weekend? Maxim’s dogs are here to advise!

 

World War Z

Out June 21, Rated PG-13

 


Photo Courtesy of Paramount Pictures

 

Holly’s take:

“I’d normally say ‘fuck this movie’ on principle since it’s about zombies, and horror movies have the same effect on me as the vacuum cleaner (only without the carpet being clean afterwards. Quite the opposite, in fact). But this is more action than horror, with Brad Pitt as one of the few survivors of a zombie outbreak, tasked with traveling the world looking for a cure, while fighting off endless, endless hordes of the bitey bastards. I can’t wait for the surprise ending where he just ends up adopting all of them!”

 

Dexter’s take:

“Zombie enthusiasts might have a few bones to pick with this one – most obviously because it involves super-fast zombies, and fans of classic undead flicks tend to enjoy the creeping suspense of the shambling yet inexorable old-school monsters to the current fad of sprinting, jumping zombies. Second, fans of Max Brooks’ novel (on which the film is based) might be disappointed, since, by all accounts, it’s not a terribly faithful adaptation (Brooks himself went for slow zombies, for the record). All that said, it should be a pretty fun experience: The zombie transformation scenes are supposed to be exciting, and let’s be honest, I think we’re all a little intrigued by the idea of crazed zombies scrambling all over each other to form a human (ex-human?) ladder, and hurling themselves off rooftops at helicopters. Here’s a question, though – why is it only humans that turn in these movies? Why not dogs, or otters? Or aardvarks? I would literally shit myself if I got attacked by an undead aardvark. Or a living one, if I’m being honest.”

 

Billie’s take:

“THIS FILM WAS TOTALLY UNBELIEVABLE. THE WHOLE OF AMERICA GETS INFECTED BY A ZOMBIE VIRUS, BUT NOT ONE OF THOSE ZOMBIES WAS MORBIDLY OBESE? I’M CALLING BULLSHIT.”

 

 

 

Maniac

Out June 21, Unrated

 


Photo Courtesy of IFC Films

 

Holly’s take:

Another horror movie? This isn’t my week. I do like the idea of lovely little Elijah Wood being a horrific serial killer (I mean, come on, he was awesomely fucked up as Kevin in Sin City), but a movie about women getting stalked and scalped? That’s going to make me pee the bed. More than I usually do, I mean.”

 

Dexter’s take:

“I’m pretty intrigued by this one. It’s a remake of the classic slasher flick from 1980, but this time around it’s filmed entirely from the killer’s point of view, so you only see his face in reflections. That’s going to put an audience uncomfortably into the killer’s shoes, which should be an interesting experience. I mean, just wearing shoes at all would be an interesting experience for me, but you know what I mean.”

 

Billie’s take:

“I THINK I FIGURED OUT THE ULTIMATE DEFENSE AGAINST BEING SCALPED. IT’S CALLED A HAT.”

 

 

 

Monsters University

Out June 21, Rated G

 


Photo Courtesy of Walt Disney Pictures

 

Holly’s take:

“This prequel to Monsters Inc. sees Mike and Sulley going through college together to learn how to be scary. The reviews in so far aren’t exactly glowing – it’s supposed to be cute and fun, but not very imaginative – but the kids will probably like it. Your kids, I mean. Mine are out roaming the forest in a pack, scaring the shit out of weasels. Eh…kids.”

 

Dexter’s take:

“I’ll go see this, because the people at Pixar are awesome. But I would consider them considerably more awesome if they’d go back to making original movies again, rather than all these sequels. Sure, they do sequels better than just about everyone else, but I’d much rather be blown away by something as new and surprising as WallE again than get another Finding Nemo sequel. Although obviously I’ll go see that, too.”

 

Billie’s take:

“I SAT UP ALL NIGHT TO SEE IF THERE WAS A MONSTER IN MY CLOSET. I FEEL PRETTY STUPID ABOUT THAT NOW – I DON’T HAVE A CLOSET.”

 

 

 

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