Quiz: Are You A Supervillain?

Find out with our handy, completely unscientific questionnaire.
ENTERTAINMENT  |  May 6, 2014By Brian Cullen

The Amazing Spider Man 2 is upon us, and in it, the ol’ webslinger will be up to his neck in bad guys. Yes, in this latest installment, Peter Parker will find himself battling Electro (Jamie Foxx), the Rhino (Paul Giamatti), the Green Goblin (Dane DeHaan), and potentially the Hobgoblin, Black Cat, crippling student debt, an unforgivable sense of entitlement, the friend zone, and a nasty chest cough that just won’t go away! All these villains got us thinking – should you join the ranks of comic book ne’er-do-wells? Lucky for you, we’ve developed a handy quiz, because you really shouldn’t be trusted with decisions of this magnitude. Here we go!


Photo Courtesy of Sony Pictures
 


1) Good morning! It’s a wonderful day, isn’t it?
A)     Yeah, now that you mention it, today seems pretty all right.
B)     There’s hasn’t been a good day since class hunk Thad Armstrong stole Becky from me!
C)     I didn’t hear the question, as I’m currently slumbering in a black crystal of pure negative energy.
D)     Of course! May the sun shine down on the fine people of Georgia today.

2) How do you take your coffee?
A)     Cream. Maybe a little sugar. Hazelnut if I’m feeling adventurous.
B)     Black! BLACK! BLAAAAAAAACK!
C)     I don’t need caffeine, as I draw energy from pure vengeance.
D)     Iced, and served alongside a delicious Georgia peach! Mmmm-MMM! I tell you, Georgia’s peach farmers are one of a kind!

3) What’s on your agenda for the day?
A)     Work. Then some grocery shopping. A visit to the gym, if there’s time.
B)     Purchasing blueprint paper from the blueprint store. Then…scheming.
C)     Pressing the red button, launching “Project: Omega.”
D)     Pushing for a safer and more secure America.

4) Name your favorite character in Super Smash Bros.
A)     Mario! Can’t argue with a classic.
B)     Ganondorf. He’s dark. Like me.
C)     Games? You think I have time for games? Let me show you what happened to the last person who challenged me to a game! *Pointing to a closet full of corpses.
D)     What’s that now?

5) What’s your favorite kind of music?
A)     Oh, whatever’s on the radio, I suppose.
B)     AFI.
C)     Screams.
D)     Why, Allman Brothers, "Devil Went Down to Georgia," "Georgia on my Mind," "Midnight Train to Georgia"…shucks, if it mentions the great State of Georgia, I’ll be tapping my toes!

6) How do you wind down in the evenings?
A)     By watching whatever’s on Food Network. I can’t get enough of that Bobby Flay!
B)     Training my body to be a weapon. Once I’m finished, they won’t know what hit them.
C)     Killing henchmen who failed.
D)     Well, I will admit to a fondness for bourbon from Kentucky. I hope y’all won’t hold that against me. Of course, when I’m not drinking that, I support the Sweetwater Brewing Company from Atlanta!


RESULTS:

If you answered …

Mostly A: You shouldn’t be a supervillain, but Christ, man. Do SOMETHING interesting.  Right now, you’re The Eagles of human beings.

Mostly B: Yes, all things considered, you should probably become a supervillain. Just try to be one of those interesting anti-heroes like Venom or Don Draper.

Mostly C: Not sure how to tell you this, but you’re already a supervillain, and probably a bit of a sociopath.

Mostly D: You’re Georgia Senator Saxby Chambliss. We have no opinion over your inherent supervillain-ness or lack thereof. Keep on running Georgia like a champ, or something…?


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