Taxi

We all know how annoying Tina Fey can be, but still—Jimmy Fallon left Saturday Night Live's news desk for this? Taxi pairs the giggly Fallon with the jiggly Queen Latifah as a mousy cop and a deranged cabbie, respectively, who team up to take down a syndicate of smoking-hot bank robbers (headed by model-turned-model-in-a-movie Gisele Bündchen). This action-comedy is neither active nor comedic, as Fallon's stuttering and Latifah's 3,300 ghetto-inflected "damns" (happy to see that Oscar nomination didn't go to waste!) deliver fewer laughs than the last season of SNL. The car chases wouldn't cut it on the sitcom Taxi, and the movie even botches the requisite, gratuitous bikini shot: It's entirely too short, and we can't get an appreciation for Gisele's newfound acting skills. Add to the fare an incoherent story and more annoying peripheral characters than Lil' Jon's entourage and you've got all the reason you need to take the subway.