Release Date:
Friday, March 6, 2009
Directed by: Zack Snyder
The Skinny: In an alternate-reality 1980s United States, Richard Nixon is still president, the world is on the brink of nuclear war, and "costumed vigilantes" have been declared illegal after years of popularity and success. A former superteam come together when one of their own—a notorious bastard nicknamed The Comedian—is murdered.
If You've Read the Comic: You'll find Watchmen to be very faithful… which is OK, but also kind of its problem. It's so reverential that you soon realize that you're not watching an interpretation of the story, you're having the story read to you again. Some of it works—Patrick Wilson's Dan Dreiberg and Jackie Earle Haley's Rorschach are both well realized, and the actors are the only two in the cast who come close to playing a character. The rest feel stiff, awkward, and detached (especially Malin Akerman as Silk Spectre and Jeffrey Dean Morgan as the Comedian—he looks the part, but never makes an impact enough to cast the huge shadow over the story the way the character should). The only time Snyder breaks free of the confines of the book and actually interprets something is during the opening credit sequence and it's beautifully handled. Makes you wish he'd have been less of a fanboy and more of a filmmaker for the rest of the nearly three-hour run time. (Although his attempts to beef up the limited action of the comic make for some confusion—the story is saying "these people are broken and sad," but the action scenes are saying "look how cool they are!" Well, which is it, Zack?)
If You Haven't Read the Comic: The movie is truly an eye-popping technical achievement, and at its heart is a thought-provoking take on superheroes, the Cold War, and the American way of life. All solid stuff rooted in some of the best comic book source material ever written. However, there are loooooong stretches of dialogue (which are often bookended by even more expository voiceovers), which is fine when you're reading but exhausting when you're watching. Especially when most of it is delivered in monotone by the emotionless Dr. Manhattan. What he's saying is interesting, but if you can stay focused during his 10-minute droning, more power to you (shades of The Matrix: Reloaded slamming to a halt so that The Architect could explain to the audience what the fuck is going on… also in monotone). Still, you'll leave with the certainty that Rorschach will be on every "Most Badass Movie Character" list you compile from now on. ("I'm not locked up in here with you. You're locked up in here WITH ME!")
Cosplay Kids: Watchmen features a costumed superhero sex scene, with nudity! Fapping fanboys can finally stop Photoshopping white hair onto Halle Berry in Monster's Ball screengrabs.
Taint Cam: Keep an eye out for a zoom through the legs of a floating, yoga-posing, nude Dr. Manhattan. You may feel yourself instinctively ducking under the butt crack.
Theater, DVD, or TNT in Five Years? It's absolutely worth seeing in a theater for its sheer, um, sheerness, but you may find yourself agreeing with creator Alan Moore (who publicly disowned the movie) that a lot of it may be better read than watched.
The Skinny: In an alternate-reality 1980s United States, Richard Nixon is still president, the world is on the brink of nuclear war, and "costumed vigilantes" have been declared illegal after years of popularity and success. A former superteam come together when one of their own—a notorious bastard nicknamed The Comedian—is murdered.
If You've Read the Comic: You'll find Watchmen to be very faithful… which is OK, but also kind of its problem. It's so reverential that you soon realize that you're not watching an interpretation of the story, you're having the story read to you again. Some of it works—Patrick Wilson's Dan Dreiberg and Jackie Earle Haley's Rorschach are both well realized, and the actors are the only two in the cast who come close to playing a character. The rest feel stiff, awkward, and detached (especially Malin Akerman as Silk Spectre and Jeffrey Dean Morgan as the Comedian—he looks the part, but never makes an impact enough to cast the huge shadow over the story the way the character should). The only time Snyder breaks free of the confines of the book and actually interprets something is during the opening credit sequence and it's beautifully handled. Makes you wish he'd have been less of a fanboy and more of a filmmaker for the rest of the nearly three-hour run time. (Although his attempts to beef up the limited action of the comic make for some confusion—the story is saying "these people are broken and sad," but the action scenes are saying "look how cool they are!" Well, which is it, Zack?)
If You Haven't Read the Comic: The movie is truly an eye-popping technical achievement, and at its heart is a thought-provoking take on superheroes, the Cold War, and the American way of life. All solid stuff rooted in some of the best comic book source material ever written. However, there are loooooong stretches of dialogue (which are often bookended by even more expository voiceovers), which is fine when you're reading but exhausting when you're watching. Especially when most of it is delivered in monotone by the emotionless Dr. Manhattan. What he's saying is interesting, but if you can stay focused during his 10-minute droning, more power to you (shades of The Matrix: Reloaded slamming to a halt so that The Architect could explain to the audience what the fuck is going on… also in monotone). Still, you'll leave with the certainty that Rorschach will be on every "Most Badass Movie Character" list you compile from now on. ("I'm not locked up in here with you. You're locked up in here WITH ME!")
Cosplay Kids: Watchmen features a costumed superhero sex scene, with nudity! Fapping fanboys can finally stop Photoshopping white hair onto Halle Berry in Monster's Ball screengrabs.
Taint Cam: Keep an eye out for a zoom through the legs of a floating, yoga-posing, nude Dr. Manhattan. You may feel yourself instinctively ducking under the butt crack.
Theater, DVD, or TNT in Five Years? It's absolutely worth seeing in a theater for its sheer, um, sheerness, but you may find yourself agreeing with creator Alan Moore (who publicly disowned the movie) that a lot of it may be better read than watched.