15 Things That Will Definitely Help You Sleep Better
Get ready to hit that snooze button.
Countless studies confirm that we all turn into spiteful, unhealthy turds when we’re tired, which is why you should really invest in a good night’s sleep, because if you don’t sleep well, your life is going to be one big, unpleasant mess.
For instance, a recent study discovered that those who generally slept less than six hours a night were 12 percent more likely to die early, and another study found that when participants didn’t didn’t sleep enough, they were seriously unhappy in their relationships. Like, totally miserable.
And lastly, a third study revealed that those who slept fewer than 4.5 hours a night had a super high body mass index, meaning inadequate sleep makes you fat. And that’s not good.
I feel like that’s sufficient evidence to encourage you to get more sleep every night, right? Right. Sleep is your friend. And so, here are 15 miraculous products to help you get the best, most restful sleep of your life.
1. Casper Wave Bed
The first step to getting a good night’s sleep is to make sure you have a perfectly comfortable bed, and this bed is the epitome of comfort.
With a patent-pending Natural Geometry Support System, “precision contouring under your shoulders relieves pressure and aids in proper spine alignment for all sleep positions,” and “a reinforced polymer network complements the curves of your back and hips for firmer support where you need it most.”
Wow, how scientific. And comfortable.
Get it from Casper for $2,250 for a king size.
2. Nightingale Sound Machine
White noise machines are awesome for masking annoying sounds that disrupt your sleep, but sometimes, they’re simply not enough to drown out the bullshit noises that screw with your Circadian clock.
That’s why you should use a Nightingale, which cloaks your bedroom in a cozy “sound blanket” for 100 percent restful sleep.
In fact, this noise machine is so good, that a clinical trial from Harvard Medical School found that it helps you fall asleep 38 percent faster. Nice.
3. Luxe Hardcore Sheet Bundle
Use these “buttery-smooth 480 thread-count” sateen weave cotton sheets for the smoothest, most delicious sleep ever.
Get it from Brooklinen for $235 for a king set.
4. 3D Contour Sleep Mask
The sun and other annoying lights are a bitch when you’re trying to sleep, so slap on this sleep mask for total darkness.
Get it from Amazon for $12.99.
5. Philips Wake-up Light
With your choice of five soothing nature sounds, or FM radio, this alarm clock wakes you up by mimicking natural sunlight.
20 to 40 minutes before you’re wake-up call, the clock slowly transitions from dark, to dawn red, to orange, and finally, to a bright, sunny yellow.
Get it from Philips for $169.99.
6. Natural Wake and Sleep System
For lighter sleepers who don’t need a sonic boom to wake them up, try this gentle alarm clock that helps you wake up gradually with soothing sounds and aromatherapy. Good morning indeed!
Get it from Sharper Image for $79.99.
7. Bed Fan with Wireless Remote
If you suffer from nocturnal swamp ass that keeps you up, use this bed fan to make your sheets nice and airy, and you’ll drift off to the land of cool, breezy dreams in no time.
Get it from Brookstone for $99.99.
8. 3-D Ultrasonic Aromatherapy Diffuser
Tons and tons of research prove that certain essential oils, namely lavender, chamomile, and cedarwood, help you sleep better thanks to their relaxing and sedating properties.
Just a couple drops of essential oils in this aesthetically pleasing aromatherapy diffuser will help you get to sleep faster, but more importantly, it’ll help you stay asleep.
Get it from Sharper Image for $99.99.
9. TEMPUR-Cloud Breeze Dual Cooling Pillow
Calling all hot, sweaty sleepers!
“Layers of cooling gel on both sides will keep you cool. Highly adaptive, personalized support with cooling gel that helps keep you comfortable—in any sleep position—during the night.”
Get it from Tempur-Pedic for $189 for a king size.
10. The Casper Pillow
The ultimate balance of soft and supportive, it’s no wonder this pillow is one of the best on the market.
Bonus: The Side Sleeper’s Ergonomic Pillow
Side sleeper? No problem. This is the pillow for you.
Get it from Hammacher Schlemmer for $59.95.
11. Brooklinen Down Comforter
Yet another staple for an amazing night’s sleep, this fluffy 700 fill down comforter is lightweight yet warm all year round, and comes with a lifetime warranty.
Get it from Brooklinen for $399.
12. Absolute Zero 63-Inch Velvet Blackout Curtain
The sun is your enemy when you’re trying to catch some uninterrupted z’s, but these blackout curtains are your friend.
Get it from Bed Bath & Beyond for $39.99.
13. Relax & Sleep Well App
If you’re going to play around on your phone before knocking out for the night, download this hypnosis and meditation app that includes hypnotherapy recordings on “insomnia, stress, anxiety, mindfulness, sleep, weight-loss, confidence, self-esteem, the solfeggio frequencies, binaural beats, and spiritual healing.”
14. Smart Nora
Listen, there’s no shame in snoring. If you’re a snorer, you’re a snorer. But even though you can’t entirely control it, it’s really annoying for the woman sleeping next to you, who has to listen to you all night long.
And that’s why there’s something called the Smart Nora, which is a nifty little device you place next to your bed, and when you start snoring real loud, it gently raises your head and stimulates the muscles in your airways, thereby halting your loud snoring before you wake up your bedmate.
Our hard-snoring Deputy Editor tested the device himself, and he can attest to Smart Nora’s effectiveness. As of this writing, his wife has not, in fact, murdered him in the middle of the night.
Get the Smart Nora here for $299.
15. Sleep Naked
No, this isn’t an app or a physical product you can buy. You will literally sleep better if you strip down to your birthday suit and crawl in bed without a shred of clothing.
Here’s why: The human body needs to cool down .5 degrees Fahrenheit to be able to fall asleep and stay asleep, and when you ditch the pajamas, your core cools down faster, helping you drift off into the land of golden slumbers a lot faster.
Plus, during the night, your body needs to remain cool, or else you’ll wake up all hot and annoyed. Clothes and pajamas retain heat, but when you’re naked, there’s nothing on you to bring up your body temperature, which is a great thing.
Sweet dreams, my friends.